I'm tired. I'm tired of waking up and discovering what fell apart in my body overnight. I'm tired of wanting to fall asleep but not being able to because of the pain. I'm tired of doctors dismissing me. I'm tired of them looking at me like I'm bothering them because I'm an overweight, ugly female and my autistic ass can't communicate like a normal person. I'm tired of hoping for treatment I can't get. They wouldn't prescribe common antibiotics for my tooth infection so why do I keep hoping that they'll treat a much more complex and serious illness? I'm tired of my parents gaslighting me and threatening to disown me because I have several disabilities and they want to live a fun, dependent-free lifestyle. I'm tired of them saying it's all in my head, when there are MRI scans and tests that say otherwise. I'm tired of my stepdad calling me trash and my mom defending him because he's the only man who stayed with her out of several marriages. I'm tired of him gambling away thousands of dollars and her supporting it. I'm tired of falling for their lies every time. My mom has a lot in assets that she keeps promising to me but I'm probably not going to see a penny of it. I'm tired of being trapped. I'm tired of being hungry but not being able to eat. I feel so tired and stupid and sick and I think I'm done.
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