BitterlyAlive
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- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
I haven't really cut in a while. I cut my hips a day or two ago because I felt like shit and wanted to be numb again. In the meantime, I've been scratching myself pretty hard every damn day with scissors on my forearm. Lately it's been two or three times a day. It leaves marks for about half the day and hurts like crazy. I wish it bled, but that's okay I guess...
I feel like an overdramatic fool. And I feel like I'm not really self harming because I'm not really bleeding. And despite knowing better, I let myself fall into that line of thinking. It just makes me want to take a damn razor blade to my forearms and go crazy, because I piss myself off so much. But I'm too afraid of the attention from others. At least people don't seem to notice the scratches...
I feel like an overdramatic fool. And I feel like I'm not really self harming because I'm not really bleeding. And despite knowing better, I let myself fall into that line of thinking. It just makes me want to take a damn razor blade to my forearms and go crazy, because I piss myself off so much. But I'm too afraid of the attention from others. At least people don't seem to notice the scratches...
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