yousaidimsweet
your star student
- Nov 30, 2024
- 78
hello all,
so i've been off this site after doing some serious self reflection and getting therapy. i was doing AMAZING. life has its ups and downs, and i was really proud of myself for the support i got which ultimately aided me in feeling a hell of a lot better since the winter, in which i was severely depressed. which takes me to today.
earlier, my older brother (26, somehow he's still as immature as i was at 17) was about to kick our cat after she scratched him because he kept bothering her. he called her a "little shit" and lunged at her, then i yelled at him to back off, and that she's just a cat. gave him a bandaid, he called ME a dumbass, to which i was finally fed up with him pushing me around all the damn time and got in his face too. anyway, family intervened, and i finally got off my chest to my mother that i remembered the time when he sexually molested me when i was around 6-7, and that i was done with him always mistreating me and belittling me literally since childhood. he yells at everyone, including my mother and father, berates them, and i'm so sick of it. i wouldn't be surprised if when he moves in with his girlfriend, he'll verbally abuse her too like he does us.
so i tried calling the suicide hotline to calm the hell down, put down the phone cause im impatient, started self harming which really sucks because i had gone about a year without doing it. but man, i could practically hear the blade whispering at me.
my family and myself are latinos, so they probably all hate me now, i should just kill myself lol. my mother helped cover up the time when my brother molested me three times, so knowing her she'll probably brush this off as well after not talking to me for two fucking weeks. i was starting to understand her these last few days. people always say that it hurts parents burying a child - i don't think my parents would care. quickest way to CTB? thanks
so i've been off this site after doing some serious self reflection and getting therapy. i was doing AMAZING. life has its ups and downs, and i was really proud of myself for the support i got which ultimately aided me in feeling a hell of a lot better since the winter, in which i was severely depressed. which takes me to today.
earlier, my older brother (26, somehow he's still as immature as i was at 17) was about to kick our cat after she scratched him because he kept bothering her. he called her a "little shit" and lunged at her, then i yelled at him to back off, and that she's just a cat. gave him a bandaid, he called ME a dumbass, to which i was finally fed up with him pushing me around all the damn time and got in his face too. anyway, family intervened, and i finally got off my chest to my mother that i remembered the time when he sexually molested me when i was around 6-7, and that i was done with him always mistreating me and belittling me literally since childhood. he yells at everyone, including my mother and father, berates them, and i'm so sick of it. i wouldn't be surprised if when he moves in with his girlfriend, he'll verbally abuse her too like he does us.
so i tried calling the suicide hotline to calm the hell down, put down the phone cause im impatient, started self harming which really sucks because i had gone about a year without doing it. but man, i could practically hear the blade whispering at me.
my family and myself are latinos, so they probably all hate me now, i should just kill myself lol. my mother helped cover up the time when my brother molested me three times, so knowing her she'll probably brush this off as well after not talking to me for two fucking weeks. i was starting to understand her these last few days. people always say that it hurts parents burying a child - i don't think my parents would care. quickest way to CTB? thanks
