Venting i’m stuck

[cat0boy]

i feel like i'm never going to get out, im trapped somewhere i never asked to be and im struggling without even doing anything. im just trying to get by. im trying to stay on track and do the things i have to do to be okay but i cant do it anymore.
i can't even ctb, i've failed so many times. i can't only keep trying but somebody is going to notice and i cant let that happen. i hate living, i hate the people in this world, i hate myself, i hate the way we evolved and based society off money. we have to pay to live and honestly, why would anyone want to live like this? especially in my situation, i have no interests and i feel depressed no matter how hard i try.
i know what i want, but i also know i'll just fail again if i try. everyone thats tried helping me with my issues has told me im a lost cause. i know im a lost cause, so what does anyone expect me to do? i want to save myself from anymore pain but i just keep making it worse on accident. i cant do anything right and i cant bare life any longer, i don't onow what im going to do but i know im gonna dl something about it soon. i get scared thinking about the day i cant take it anymore, and what i'm going to do. i just want my suffering to end, because even if im just here not doing anything, im in pain.

 

[Dinorun]

No one should be in so much pain, and hear such things from the people who should help them.
I think The people who tell you such things are the real lost causes, you shouldn't give them any weight in your heart

I don't know if it helps but those kind of stories stick with me so I'll be thinking about you and wishing you the best.