Venting I'm so tired

[pineapple-chicken]

I just want to vent. I'm at university now, idk how I got in, but it's so horrible, im studying architecture and the workload is unbearable, I have like a million drawings and essays due every day. I can't handle the stress, and almost as soon as I got into the uni my mom lost her job and I lost my job, and now I literally have no money, the only way I'm going to be able to get to the university tommorow is to cycle 15 km. I can't afford food, my stomach is rumbling in class and everyone knows I'm poor.


Everyone else feels like they belong there, and they can buy food and monsters and pay for petrol in their car that they own.i feel so small. I tried asking some friends for help but I can't do it casually, I just want it all to end and be over I just want to be normal but that's never going to happen. One of the younger lecturers even offered me money becuase I missed an assignment becuase I couldn't afford the bus ticketbto get there. And then the older staff told her not to do that with students and I completely understand why. I just, I wish I didn't have to be such a burden, I wish I was normal, I can't handle this anymore I can't handle the way people are talking to me I want to be in the ground. I want to rot and never worry about anything

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I'm sorry. College is so difficult and it's so painful to deal with all these circumstances life is giving you. I wish I had some way to help you but I struggle with money myself and have no source or income

 

[pineapple-chicken]

Theres a gay bar near my uni that pays really well but they never seem to be willing to hire me, idk that was the only job I could see feesibly paying the bills but it just isn't working out. I think I'll see how I feel Tommorow, if I still want to do it after I look my friends in the eyes then I'll do partial hanging under a bridge near me

 

[theboy]

take breaks that really distract you from college. it can be anything. i understand your tiredness, because that's what college is like.

 

[Aergia]

How are you doing OP? Are you with us?

 

[pineapple-chicken]

How are you doing OP? Are you with us?

Hey, yeah I am, I went to university and looked enough people in the eyes, theres people there that care about me, fuck if I know why, but I know if I do anything I'd be traumatizing them. I also spoke to my lecturers and they basically told me to suck it up buttercup, but I'm slowly getting better, I'm still being though

And I did cycle, through a shady part of town, a small part of my hope someone killed me for my bike but I tilurned out fine, if not a little hungry

 

[Aergia]

Hey, yeah I am, I went to university and looked enough people in the eyes, theres people there that care about me, fuck if I know why, but I know if I do anything I'd be traumatizing them. I also spoke to my lecturers and they basically told me to suck it up buttercup, but I'm slowly getting better, I'm still being though

I'm glad to hear it.

Have you asked anyone for help (financially)?

Your lecturers don't seem to be helpful but is there maybe a campus counsellor you can speak to regarding student aid? I know it's possibly too late to get a full bursary (although some do stay open for applications for a while, so it's worth checking out online if you haven't already), but they may be able to suggest a temporary solution.

I know some unis have meal programs and sometimes food parcel distributions carried out by external organisations— is there a chance your uni might have these?

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Glad to hear you're doing alright and still here @pineapple-chicken

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Maybe there are any food banks where you live?