I have become a zombie and I have lost all my hobbies. I lost all my personality in the span of two months. I suddenly have nothing in this godforsaken life but to masturbate and sleep. It is what is left for me. Ogling porn to satisfy my dopamine receptors and sleeping to escape this hell.
I love waking up before my alarm and going to sleep again, multiple times. It's the best part of my day, which is ironic cause it's followed by the worst part — having to face another day when the time to wake up finally comes.
I have no access to drugs to keep my mind occupied. Nothing happens in my life so I don't have nothing to look forward to. I'm even trying gambling just so I can feel something. I can't even die because I'm under intense suicide watch.
Do I have to the mental strength to one day stab myself with a knife? What the hell do I do? Accept this horrible life? Should I keep trying to buy SN hoping that I can receive the package without anyone knowing? It's so hard.
Sorry, this post is so pathetic.
I love waking up before my alarm and going to sleep again, multiple times. It's the best part of my day, which is ironic cause it's followed by the worst part — having to face another day when the time to wake up finally comes.
I have no access to drugs to keep my mind occupied. Nothing happens in my life so I don't have nothing to look forward to. I'm even trying gambling just so I can feel something. I can't even die because I'm under intense suicide watch.
Do I have to the mental strength to one day stab myself with a knife? What the hell do I do? Accept this horrible life? Should I keep trying to buy SN hoping that I can receive the package without anyone knowing? It's so hard.
Sorry, this post is so pathetic.
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