I understand that it's so torturous and tiring feeling trapped here, to me it's certainly so inhumane how suicide is purposely made so difficult for people, allowing people the right to die in peace would be compassionate and the fact that this isn't allowed and people are expected to just suffer instead shows what a hellish reality we exist in.
The fact that suicide is risky and inaccessible is also why I'm still trapped here, it's so tragic how there's so much unnecessary suffering in existing, I hope you eventually find the freedom you are desperately searching for.