I'm so done.

[I want to end it]

I am so sorry 2018 join date too. Are there many of us left?

 

[Chronicillness]

The genesis of an extremely painful or nearly constant physical illness really put my "mental illness" into perspective. Granted, I am still extremely depressed and anxious, but even the most severe symptoms of major depression (catatonia/dysphoria/blackness) don't even come close to how distressing, hopeless and terrorizing a very severe physical illness can be. I suffer much more from my physical issues than I ever did with my mental issues. And my mental issues are so severe that I went full on hikikomori for a decade and remained couch-locked/bedridden the entire time. Looking back on it, that was paradise compared to what I am dealing with now.

I hope you can find the motivation to be proactive in caring for your physical being.

 

[Life sucks]

I'm sorry this happened to you rain. I wish you peace dear

I'm in the same boat, I have multiple problems and lately my depression caused physical damage to my body. I can't combat it and my body is deteriorating.

Love and hugs to you

 

[Gnip]

Assume nothing. SPECIFY that they have checked your uric acid, and for Lyme disease! I cannot emphasize this enough from extensive experience.

Regarding vegetarianism, there are healthy vegetarians and unhealthy vegetarians. You would want to avoid purines in your diet, but especially grains and grain based foods, anything containing gluten, anything starchy, any oils derived from seeds, citric acid can aggravate gout, and if you want to know how bad corn is, try rubbing corn oil on your skin for a while and check out whether or not an angry red rash develops. Odds are, it will.

70% of all plant life is not suitable for human consumption. Then there are food allergies (especially to nuts, shellfish, eggs and certain dairy products). You need to do your nutrition homework and then "listen" to how your body responds, both in terms of how you feel and what blood test results show as to how your body is responding to any dietary changes.

 

[Brackenshire]

Look up an anti inflammatory diet

 

[RainAndSadness]

The diagnosis came back today: it's rheumatoid arthritis. They said the rheumatoid factor in my blood is high enough to give this diagnosis. They said they're awaiting more results and we did another x-ray of my hands and feet today - so they're gonna check if there is already some damage visible in my joints but considering I was diagnosed very quickly with this disorder, within a month, it's unlikely. My next appointment is scheduled for January. I'm curious about the efficiency of the treatment.

We're gonna fade out the cortisol until January and instead initiate a therapy involving mexthotrexate. I'll take 15 mg once a week. I hope this will reduce the symptoms but it seems like this medication can bring its own set of problems, so yeah. Just looking at all the possible risks and side-effects of that drug makes me worried. Arthritis looks like a severe condition. I'm relieved I finally know the cause for my pain but at the same time, it's also extremely crushing. I just hope for the best at this point. It's really depressing, there is no cure for that disease and the late stage symptoms are really scary. It just sucks.

The bright side of this - arthritis counts as a severe physical condition that can decrease the quality of life and cause a lot of pain, so having this diagnosis might open up the possibility to leave officially and legally with Exit Switzerland, at some point... which on the other hand, is a comfy notion. But that's just suicidal me, looking for the bright side of this situation. I've been a member for a little less than a year and I'll ask them about it but I think I'm gonna leave with my N nonetheless. The idea of leaving with the approval of society is nice, it's validating to some extend, but I already have N, so this is just an expensive and unnecessary hassle.

Assume nothing. SPECIFY that they have checked your uric acid, and for Lyme disease! I cannot emphasize this enough from extensive experience.

Regarding vegetarianism, there are healthy vegetarians and unhealthy vegetarians. You would want to avoid purines in your diet, but especially grains and grain based foods, anything containing gluten, anything starchy, any oils derived from seeds, citric acid can aggravate gout, and if you want to know how bad corn is, try rubbing corn oil on your skin for a while and check out whether or not an angry red rash develops. Odds are, it will.

70% of all plant life is not suitable for human consumption. Then there are food allergies (especially to nuts, shellfish, eggs and certain dairy products). You need to do your nutrition homework and then "listen" to how your body responds, both in terms of how you feel and what blood test results show as to how your body is responding to any dietary changes.

Heya! Thanks for your suggestion. It seems like we already found the cause today: rheumatoid arthritis. The results of the blood test seems to be conclusive and I think the diagnosis makes sense, considering all the symptoms. I appreciate your advice regarding the diet, thanks a lot. I've wanted to try out a plant-based diet for a long time but don't know much about vegetarianism and how to adopt it properly. So that's definitely useful for me.

Look up an anti inflammatory diet

Thanks, I'll do that!

 

[Gnip]

Getting a specific diagnosis of RA nailed down is critical. Rheumatoid Arthritis is in fact among the conditions which the services rendered by Dignitas has already been used to relieve, so the precedent is established.

100% of your physical pain can be eliminated with competent clinical hypnotherapy for the relief of all physical discomfort, but accept nothing less. If there is any opposition at all to you undergoing legal euthanasia in Switzerland, then demand nothing less than total elimination of pain in return for not using the Swiss services.

Your care providers need to put up or shut up. They need to either fully accommodate you, or you can avail yourself of humane treatment which definitively guarantees the end of any further suffering. Force them to do their jobs, or make them concede that they cannot do their jobs. You own your body, nobody else. Dignitas will work for you. If your care providers do not want you to hire Dignitas, let them prove that they can outcompete Dignitas.

On the issue of pain relief through clinical hypnosis, British physician James Braid coined the term "hypnosis" in 1846. Nearly 175 years later, there is no potential valid defense or excuse the health care industry could possibly offer for clinical hypnosis not to be a universally available and standard modality for pain relief and suffering.


Ask about ziconotide as a pain reliever. Push them to do their jobs. PROFESSIONALS ARE PEOPLE WHO DO THE JOBS THEY ARE PAID TO DO! Do not put up with pain!


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziconotide


Yes, acupuncture is indeed used to treat rheumatoid arthritis, and there are YouTube clips displaying this procedure.



Humira is a widely advertised injection administered medication for preventing the development and progression of joint damage with RA:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adalimumab

 

[Xdyzine]

I'm sorry about your diagnosis a dear friend has arthritis and I know first hand what she goes through, I've been on methotrexate myself since the past three years it's sort of the go-to med for rheumy's for almost every type of autoimmune, I could be wrong though. If you ever want help or support regarding methotrexate I'll be more then happy to.

 

[Gaybonez]

It looks like I'm experiencing strong Rheumatism symptoms at the moment and it's crushing me physically as well as mentally. I was physically a very healthy person until 3 weeks ago. I had mental struggles and I was already suicidal but this is a fucking nightmare.
Here is how that unfolded: Just recently, at the end of October, at the 26th, I noticed a strong pain in my left elbow. I didn't think much of it because I didn't injure myself or anything and thought it would only be a temporary issue. A few days later, it actually disappeared just as quickly as it came. But at the start of November, just one week later, I started to have severe pain in my left knee. It was really painful and I could barely walk. A few days later, the pain in the elbow came back but worse. I also felt a strong pain in my left wrist. During that time I went to the doctor repeatedly to get this checked because the pain only became worse over time, despite pain killers. I hoped it would just magically disappear again but it didn't, the opposite was the case - the pain became gradually worse and it was spreading. Almost every time I woke up, I could either feel the pain becoming more significant or I was feeling discomfort in more locations of my body, mostly joints. I felt pain in my feet, in my right wrist, in my neck and the intensity of the pain was going up super quickly. The doctors prescribed pain medication but honestly, it doesn't do much. They initially thought it was just a temporary inflammation and thought it would disappear again. When my pain didn't stop, they took a blood test and noticed some levels aren't right but they can't make any conclusions yet - so they transferred me to a clinic for Rheumatism today. But the symptoms are very clear, it has to be some kind of Rheumatism, the doctor agreed with that, that's why they sent me to experts in a hospital. My doctor said it might be some Fibromyalgia but I hope I'll get some answers in the hospital, which has it's own discipline for Rheumatism. I can't wait to get this anomaly checked because just 3 weeks ago, I was healthy, without any chronic pain at all. Now, I can't even type this text without severe pain in my left hand. Doing normal things became very difficult. Walking, opening doors, windows, bottles, it's a nightmare. Anything that requires me to use my hands painful. I usually use my right hand for those tasks but the pain is spreading. It's getting worse and I fear it might affect my whole body very soon, which would be horrifying. I feel crippled. I can barely do anything. The pain is really strong at times, it can go to up to a 9/10 I'd say. The pain is the worst when I wake up in the morning, I can barely move my legs or arms because it just hurts too much. It usually gets better during the day so I can at least function somewhat normal but the pain medication, as said before, don't help very much. And I'm just lost for words. I was healthy just like a few weeks ago. Now I don't even recognize my body anymore, like that's horrible. It looks like my life changed forever. Just like that, in a time span of a few weeks. And the worst part is, those rheumatic disorders shouldn't usually come at the age of 26. I'm still kinda young, I was mentally exhausted since my teens and now I'm also physically crippled to some degree. Like, really, the mental pain was enough, but thanks for that, life. Fuck this, man. This is really crushing. Depression, BPD, social anxiety, trauma and now this. I fucking can't. The only positive in all this pile of shit is, that this constant pain should really help a lot in pushing me over the edge for the next attempt. Survival instinct was a bitch until now, but with all that pain, I barely feel anything of that anymore, to be honest. And if there is no treatment to drastically remove the pain, I'll have no choice but to leave. I could cope with the mental struggles, I did actually for a very long time. But the physical pain that just appeared out of nowhere feels like a defeat.

Thanks for reading - I know I don't post much about my personal situation and I'm not the most active person in this forum anymore but I'm glad people listen when I actually do give an update.

What classes of drugs have you gone through? Do you have their specific names? And do you have any anxiety meds? Can I ask if you ever take them does your pain go down a little bit or do you feel a bit more sane and in control? I'm not trying to make it sound like an interrogation. I'm just wondering

 

[RainAndSadness]

I took the methotrexate last Sunday. I felt some nausea but I think that's it. I didn't experience any other side-effects yet. I definitely lost some weight since I received my diagnosis, might be stress or medicine-related. Not sure yet. The medication took the edge off my pain so instead of experiencing pain spikes it's weaker and rather consistent now through the day.
At least I don't feel crippled in the morning anymore. But we'll see how the treatment goes, I still feel strong pain in my feet and mediocre pain in my hands, my fingers started to hurt more as well. I'm still worried about the side-effects of the methotrexate and there are some risks involved with that medication. The drug is used to treat cancer in higher dosages and I really don't like the potential hair loss.

Getting a specific diagnosis of RA nailed down is critical. Rheumatoid Arthritis is in fact among the conditions which the services rendered by Dignitas has already been used to relieve, so the precedent is established.

100% of your physical pain can be eliminated with competent clinical hypnotherapy for the relief of all physical discomfort, but accept nothing less. If there is any opposition at all to you undergoing legal euthanasia in Switzerland, then demand nothing less than total elimination of pain in return for not using the Swiss services.

Your care providers need to put up or shut up. They need to either fully accommodate you, or you can avail yourself of humane treatment which definitively guarantees the end of any further suffering. Force them to do their jobs, or make them concede that they cannot do their jobs. You own your body, nobody else. Dignitas will work for you. If your care providers do not want you to hire Dignitas, let them prove that they can outcompete Dignitas.

On the issue of pain relief through clinical hypnosis, British physician James Braid coined the term "hypnosis" in 1846. Nearly 175 years later, there is no potential valid defense or excuse the health care industry could possibly offer for clinical hypnosis not to be a universally available and standard modality for pain relief and suffering.

Ask about ziconotide as a pain reliever. Push them to do their jobs. PROFESSIONALS ARE PEOPLE WHO DO THE JOBS THEY ARE PAID TO DO! Do not put up with pain!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziconotide

Yes, acupuncture is indeed used to treat rheumatoid arthritis, and there are YouTube clips displaying this procedure.

Humira is a widely advertised injection administered medication for preventing the development and progression of joint damage with RA:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adalimumab

Thanks for all the information. I finally received the diagnosis on paper yesterday.
I'll keep the advice regarding Dignitas in mind - I live in Switzerland so I don't have as many hurdles in my way when I want to take their services. I'm currently an Exit member though, when I checked out both organizations it seemed that Exit Switzerland had more inclusive conditions and less gatekeeping. But I might become a member of Dignitas as well, who knows. Can't hurt to keep my options open.

And thanks for the medication recommendation, I'll definitely ask them about ziconotide and humira. Sounds promising!

I'm sorry about your diagnosis a dear friend has arthritis and I know first hand what she goes through, I've been on methotrexate myself since the past three years it's sort of the go-to med for rheumy's for almost every type of autoimmune, I could be wrong though. If you ever want help or support regarding methotrexate I'll be more then happy to.

Thank you, I'd appreciate to hear about your experience. How is the methotrexate going for you? Is it working well? Why are you taking the MTX?

What classes of drugs have you gone through? Do you have their specific names? And do you have any anxiety meds? Can I ask if you ever take them does your pain go down a little bit or do you feel a bit more sane and in control? I'm not trying to make it sound like an interrogation. I'm just wondering

I have a benzo-prescription for anxiety.
I used ibuprofen and co-paracetamol (which is the combination of codeine and paracetamol). They both work okay when combined in my experience but it doesn't really do enough for the pain. That's why I had prescribed cortisol, it works well but this isn't a long-term solution. And now I have started a methotrexate therapy while slowly decreasing the cortisol.
Taking the medication does indeed help for the pain but it also makes me feel a bit more in control, I guess... knowing there is something that does work for the pain is calming.

 

[Silver]

I'm glad you got a conclusive diagnosis, I hope the treatment helps keep it under control

 

[Xdyzine]

Thank you, I'd appreciate to hear about your experience. How is the methotrexate going for you? Is it working well? Why are you taking the MTX?

I was diagnosed with buergers disease and Raynaud's, I was taking MTX orally for a long time which I've experienced was really messing my stomach up, so I switched to injectable after consulting my doctor. I've found injectable works better for me with lesser side effects. The main side effects I face is some hair loss. (Ask your doctor if you can take folic acid to maintain that), nausea comes and goes for a couple of days and the basic feeling like crap gist. But I do think it has helped me maintain my symptoms. With MTX you have to find the right dosage for you. I still get flare-ups and high liver levels sometimes. But unfortunately with most and any autoimmunes MTX should help with managing symptoms . In the beginning I had almost all the side effects but slowly you get used to it. As instructed by my rheumy , I eat a little an hour before dosing, take anticid half hour before and try to stay hydrated as much as I can. I hope it works well for you in managing your symptoms . Do PM because I'm sure I must have missed alot more.

 

[Wrennie]

The genesis of an extremely painful or nearly constant physical illness really put my "mental illness" into perspective. Granted, I am still extremely depressed and anxious, but even the most severe symptoms of major depression (catatonia/dysphoria/blackness) don't even come close to how distressing, hopeless and terrorizing a very severe physical illness can be. I suffer much more from my physical issues than I ever did with my mental issues. And my mental issues are so severe that I went full on hikikomori for a decade and remained couch-locked/bedridden the entire time. Looking back on it, that was paradise compared to what I am dealing with now.

I hope you can find the motivation to be proactive in caring for your physical being.

I am so sorry to hear that. I went full-on hikikomori as soon as my problems became physical as well. Mental health issues are undoubtedly debilitating, but having to deal with that in addition to physical ailments/disease is a Hell I would not wish upon anyone.

I wish you the best. <3

 

[Gaybonez]

I took the methotrexate last Sunday. I felt some nausea but I think that's it. I didn't experience any other side-effects yet. I definitely lost some weight since I received my diagnosis, might be stress or medicine-related. Not sure yet. The medication took the edge off my pain so instead of experiencing pain spikes it's weaker and rather consistent now through the day.
At least I don't feel crippled in the morning anymore. But we'll see how the treatment goes, I still feel strong pain in my feet and mediocre pain in my hands, my fingers started to hurt more as well. I'm still worried about the side-effects of the methotrexate and there are some risks involved with that medication. The drug is used to treat cancer in higher dosages and I really don't like the potential hair loss.



Thanks for all the information. I finally received the diagnosis on paper yesterday.
I'll keep the advice regarding Dignitas in mind - I live in Switzerland so I don't have as many hurdles in my way when I want to take their services. I'm currently an Exit member though, when I checked out both organizations it seemed that Exit Switzerland had more inclusive conditions and less gatekeeping. But I might become a member of Dignitas as well, who knows. Can't hurt to keep my options open.

And thanks for the medication recommendation, I'll definitely ask them about ziconotide and humira. Sounds promising!



Thank you, I'd appreciate to hear about your experience. How is the methotrexate going for you? Is it working well? Why are you taking the MTX?



I have a benzo-prescription for anxiety.
I used ibuprofen and co-paracetamol (which is the combination of codeine and paracetamol). They both work okay when combined in my experience but it doesn't really do enough for the pain. That's why I had prescribed cortisol, it works well but this isn't a long-term solution. And now I have started a methotrexate therapy while slowly decreasing the cortisol.
Taking the medication does indeed help for the pain but it also makes me feel a bit more in control, I guess... knowing there is something that does work for the pain is calming.

I haven't re read your original post because I've been offline for a while, so excuse me if I don't have the whole picture. Now that is out of the way, I was assuming that anxiety possibly made your pain worse. It doesn't seem to be the case according to you. All the recommendations I have are to struggle through the water until you get to the other side. There's lucky a lot of medications to try, but certain drug classes take a while to work