Venting I’m so close to all my good, healthy goals but a large part of me doenst care!

[donttellmybf2004]

I have PMDD. That's my reason for ctb. I'm so close to surgery, so close to that freedom I've been chasing for half my life. And I know I should stick it out, just see how life is after I've been given treatment, but BOY it just feels like being infested with poison.
Like everything I have or want to achieve is grabbed onto and rotten down by my disorder. It's like I've got this awful program living inside me that's taking note of everything I enjoy or value, and then latches on and does it's best to ruin it.

 

[GrippySocks]

That sounds awful to have to deal with. I'm sorry you've endured so much pain and I hope things get better for you after your surgery. Wish you luck.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I have PMDD too. What surgery are you getting, if you don't mind me asking? PMDD-related or pain related or identity related?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible what you have been through and it must be really tiring, it's just so incredibly unfair how you've had to suffer so much. But anyway, I hope that you eventually find the relief that you wish for.

 

[Hendo]

I have PMDD. That's my reason for ctb. I'm so close to surgery, so close to that freedom I've been chasing for half my life. And I know I should stick it out, just see how life is after I've been given treatment, but BOY it just feels like being infested with poison.
Like everything I have or want to achieve is grabbed onto and rotten down by my disorder. It's like I've got this awful program living inside me that's taking note of everything I enjoy or value, and then latches on and does it's best to ruin it.

I hope you can make it and live a better life, I can't even imagine what you have been going through. Stay strong and hopeful