f1lth

f1lth

fleabag
Jul 9, 2023
61
i want to ctb so bad, im so so alone. My boyfriend is sitting next to me as i type this, hes doesnt know but all he'd have to do is look over. I cried for hours today while he said nothing, we still havent said anything to eachother. The only thing stopping me is knowing it would destroy my mom even though we dont really have a relationship. im so lonely all of the time
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,543
Being lonely is so awful. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Why is your bf not talking to you? And yes mums and parents would suffer so much from a ctb although they could not stop it. I feel you and your concerns about it. I hope you find peace!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,939
To me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, I get that loneliness certainly can be painful for so many who exist here, it's cruel how people suffer so much. But anyway best wishes.
 
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Zebulon

Zebulon

The loneliness is killing me
Jul 30, 2023
125
Loneliness is really the worst feeling and also the one why I wanna CTB.
Never had anyone who loved me. My parents surely didnt, no partner nothing. But everybody finds me pleasent to be around. I'm just nobodys favorite. If I would be food, I would be a okay side dish, but nobody would be sad if I'm not there or would go back to the restaurant for "me"

Not sure if that makes sense, I'm not really sober right now, because I wanna escape the feeling
 
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f1lth

f1lth

fleabag
Jul 9, 2023
61
Being lonely is so awful. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Why is your bf not talking to you? And yes mums and parents would suffer so much from a ctb although they could not stop it. I feel you and your concerns about it. I hope you find peace!
thank you for your kind words. im not sure why he wasnt talking to me, he wouldnt tell me. and yes it is hard to deal with the thought of bringing my parents so much pain, thank you again
Loneliness is really the worst feeling and also the one why I wanna CTB.
Never had anyone who loved me. My parents surely didnt, no partner nothing. But everybody finds me pleasent to be around. I'm just nobodys favorite. If I would be food, I would be a okay side dish, but nobody would be sad if I'm not there or would go back to the restaurant for "me"

Not sure if that makes sense, I'm not really sober right now, because I wanna escape the feeling
i understand this so much, im sorry you have to deal with this. Its such a horrible feeling, i hope you can find peace
 
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