Discussion I'm permenently logging out <3

[kaitekat23]

So, I am logging out permenently. I know I was so keen on leaving this world. I want to see a world where I'm healing. I want to see a world where it's not so hard to breathe. Yes, I am very much suicidal. Yes, a part of me wants to leave this cruel world. But, I have dreams. These dreams could be the root of my happiness, and it's bit of my duty to find out.

I want to get therapy. I want to get back on my anti-depressants. I want to learn to navigate these feelings. I want to exhaust every possible coping mechanism, I want to exhaust all therapy, I want to know what this world will be like once I'm healing or healed. I want to know, if once I am healed; will I still have these thoughts?...There's so amny "what if's?" in this world. I also decided I can't leave my dog alone in this cruel world, this is one of my major deciding factors in not wanting to go through with killing myself. I imagine how cruel this world is to me, I can't imagine how cruel it'll be to him if I leave this world, and leave him without his protector. That just isn't justifiable for me.

I want to have children, and break generational curses. Buy a house, etc.

I think I am just at the point where I want to live, despite wanting to die. I want to try harder. I just owe myself that

Thank you for being supportive, depsite my constant bullshit.

P.S When my dog dies, I'll probably be back, but who knows <3

 

[Nothing………………….]

So, I am logging out permenently. I know I was so keen on leaving this world. I want to see a world where I'm healing. I want to see a world where it's not so hard to breathe. Yes, I am very much suicidal. Yes, a part of me wants to leave this cruel world. But, I have dreams. These dreams could be the root of my happiness, and it's bit of my duty to find out.

I want to get therapy. I want to get back on my anti-depressants. I want to learn to navigate these feelings. I want to exhaust every possible coping mechanism, I want to exhaust all therapy, I want to know what this world will be like once I'm healing or healed. I want to know, if once I am healed; will I still have these thoughts?...There's so amny "what if's?" in this world. I also decided I can't leave my dog alone in this cruel world, this is one of my major deciding factors in not wanting to go through with killing myself. I imagine how cruel this world is to me, I can't imagine how cruel it'll be to him if I leave this world, and leave him without his protector. That just isn't justifiable for me.

I want to have children, and break generational curses. Buy a house, etc.

I think I am just at the point where I want to live, despite wanting to die. I want to try harder. I just owe myself that

Thank you for being supportive, depsite my constant bullshit.

P.S When my dog dies, I'll probably be back, but who knows <3

Good luck

 

[F@#$]

I wish I could say the same thing.
Good luck.

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I'm so glad that you're making a huge step. I believe that things will get better for you Katie! In the nicest way possible I hope I never hear from you again

 

[bebebeep]

I'm happy you've found the courage to live. Good luck and stay safe out there, you got this.

 

[Raindancer]

Katie, that is wonderful! I wish you absolutely all the best and hope every one of your dreams comes true! Your dog is lucky to have you! I would do anything for mine

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Happy to read this! Wishing you all that's beautiful and good.

 

[coolbreeze56]

Good luck, hope you find joy.

 

[Sleeper System]

You don't have to leave. This site serves as therapy as well. I understand the desire to distance yourself from " the thoughts of ctb" though so good luck and you're always gonna be welcomed here as a fellow lost soul.

 

[_Broken_alice]

We wish you the best going forward. Wanting to get better is sometimes the hardest part of getting better and it seems you have that part down.

 

[jbear824]

I wish you all the luck on this endeavor. Truly.

 

[AshersGirl]

Good luck and I hope you find your way to what makes you feel happy.

 

[FundamentalAspect]

Good luck!

 

[thewalkingdread]

I want to have children, and break generational curses

Whatever you do, please don't have biological children. Please consider adopting, If you really must have a child.... Do something for someone who is already here and suffering.

Potential new sentient beings (people) are not in need of anything and will be seriously harmed just by coming into this existence/world. Please leave the non-existent alone and out of this hellhole.

(And chances are that you are not going to break any "generational curses" as you put it. You are going to extend them to a innocent someone else. Unnecessarily.)

Wish you best of Luck.

 

[abouttosuicide]

Wishing you all the luck. It is good to hear this, I hope you achieve everything that you want to do in life, and have much success.

 

[boddibo]

This is wonderful for you, wishing you all the luck and success you deserve!

 

[thedevilwithin]

wish you the best of luck, you got this

 

[huphup]

I hope you found your peace painlessly

 

[Aim]

Good luck! I wish you only joy and happiness!

 

[wobblycoatrack]

So, I am logging out permenently. I know I was so keen on leaving this world. I want to see a world where I'm healing. I want to see a world where it's not so hard to breathe. Yes, I am very much suicidal. Yes, a part of me wants to leave this cruel world. But, I have dreams. These dreams could be the root of my happiness, and it's bit of my duty to find out.

I want to get therapy. I want to get back on my anti-depressants. I want to learn to navigate these feelings. I want to exhaust every possible coping mechanism, I want to exhaust all therapy, I want to know what this world will be like once I'm healing or healed. I want to know, if once I am healed; will I still have these thoughts?...There's so amny "what if's?" in this world. I also decided I can't leave my dog alone in this cruel world, this is one of my major deciding factors in not wanting to go through with killing myself. I imagine how cruel this world is to me, I can't imagine how cruel it'll be to him if I leave this world, and leave him without his protector. That just isn't justifiable for me.

I want to have children, and break generational curses. Buy a house, etc.

I think I am just at the point where I want to live, despite wanting to die. I want to try harder. I just owe myself that

Thank you for being supportive, depsite my constant bullshit.

P.S When my dog dies, I'll probably be back, but who knows <3

Good Luck! Wishing you happiness and healing <3

 

[Kit1]

Katie, I don't know who you are, but you have certainly made my day. Feel so happy for you. I hope everything goes well for you and your dog. If luck can carry you to better pastures there are enough of us here rooting for you and wanting you to really succeed and feeling good. Good Luck and best wishes. Take care.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best. Good luck!

 

[JoeFailure]

So, I am logging out permenently. I know I was so keen on leaving this world. I want to see a world where I'm healing. I want to see a world where it's not so hard to breathe. Yes, I am very much suicidal. Yes, a part of me wants to leave this cruel world. But, I have dreams. These dreams could be the root of my happiness, and it's bit of my duty to find out.

I want to get therapy. I want to get back on my anti-depressants. I want to learn to navigate these feelings. I want to exhaust every possible coping mechanism, I want to exhaust all therapy, I want to know what this world will be like once I'm healing or healed. I want to know, if once I am healed; will I still have these thoughts?...There's so amny "what if's?" in this world. I also decided I can't leave my dog alone in this cruel world, this is one of my major deciding factors in not wanting to go through with killing myself. I imagine how cruel this world is to me, I can't imagine how cruel it'll be to him if I leave this world, and leave him without his protector. That just isn't justifiable for me.

I want to have children, and break generational curses. Buy a house, etc.

I think I am just at the point where I want to live, despite wanting to die. I want to try harder. I just owe myself that

Thank you for being supportive, depsite my constant bullshit.

P.S When my dog dies, I'll probably be back, but who knows <3

You still want things. That's a good thing. In a way because you've been down that dark hole, you have nothing to lose. Go out there and get those things you want. Have those kids, spoil your dog with that house you'll buy. Maybe you'll even have a backyard with a fence.

A lot of people here, including me, struggle with that part of it. There's nothing we want anymore. I definitely think it's worth trying if you do want something here. Good luck!

 

[kaitekat23]

Whatever you do, please don't have biological children. Please consider adopting, If you really must have a child.... Do something for someone who is already here and suffering.

Potential new sentient beings (people) are not in need of anything and will be seriously harmed just by coming into this existence/world. Please leave the non-existent alone and out of this hellhole.

(And chances are that you are not going to break any "generational curses" as you put it. You are going to extend them to a innocent someone else. Unnecessarily.)

Wish you best of Luck.

I'm sorry. Who are you to comment on my choice to have biological children or not? This is a weird comment, if I want to have children anyway I want, I'll rightfully do so. I don't plan on having biological children right away, because I'm working through therapy first to work out my issues, find coping mechanisms, finding a creative outlet, etc.

You have no idea what generational curses I'm fighting but I'll let you know.

Alcoholism - I am not a alcoholic nor have I ever had a drink in my life (23 years strong)

Addiction - I have never gotten into drugs a day in my life and don't plan on it either.

Constantly Moving around - Currently on track to hopefully buy a home sometime next year, so IF I decide to have children REGARDLESS of how I may have them, they will be raised in one home, at one elementary school, at one middle school and one high school.

and, I've been considering opening my home to be a foster parent, and eventually adopt but adoption isn't as easy as you likely think it is. Adoptions whether they are through foster care or adoption of a newborn; costs anywhere from $2,000 to $50,000 and that varies on state.

If it is YOUR CHOICE not to bring a child into this world, that's an amazing choice for you! I'm proud for you realizing that you don't want that for yourself.

Once again that was weird comment, commenting on my right to decide whether I want children biologically, or begging me to adopt as if you know me personally? If you knew me personally YOU would know I'd been considering adoption since I was a teenager. The only reason why I'm considering having a biological child/ren because it's likely it won't be as easy for me to conceive. And ONCE AGAIN, you'd know this if you knew me personally which you don't.

You can wish me all the luck in the world to be happy, and finally heal. Which I appreciate and thank you for; but what we're not going to do is dictate someone's life.

You are entitled to your own opinion which is you believe people should adopt, to give a child already in need of a loving and stable home and not bring a child into a cruel world. That's your opinion and your choice to do so.

But the facts are ADOPTION isn't always affordable to those who want children and can't have any. Or even those with a lower income. Adoption is expensive. And your comment fails to realize that.

You still want things. That's a good thing. In a way because you've been down that dark hole, you have nothing to lose. Go out there and get those things you want. Have those kids, spoil your dog with that house you'll buy. Maybe you'll even have a backyard with a fence.

A lot of people here, including me, struggle with that part of it. There's nothing we want anymore. I definitely think it's worth trying if you do want something here. Good luck!

I love this comment! This is exactly what I want to do. I want to buy a house, have children (eventually adopt), have a big backyard for my children to play in with my dog, eventually get a new dog, heal and grow as a person and eventually see my parents get the opportunity to heal emotionally and mentally.

 

[0000000000000]

and, I've been considering opening my home to be a foster parent, and eventually adopt but adoption isn't as easy as you likely think it is. Adoptions whether they are through foster care or adoption of a newborn; costs anywhere from $2,000 to $50,000 and that varies on state.

I don't want to sound rude and i'm sorry if it bothers you, but if you consider that price too much, what makes you think that a biological child will be cheaper? There is even the possibility that it could be more expensive than an adopted one depending on the needs that the person has, i mean each person has different needs that need a different expense, i think that maybe it would be good to do a genetic test that can guide you a little more on that because i don't know maybe there is a risk of transmitting to your child a genetic condition that makes you have to spend more to give him/her a decent life. You don't need to answer if you don't want to, after all it's your choice.

 

[kaitekat23]

I don't want to sound rude but, if you consider that price too much, what makes you think that a biological child will be cheaper? There is even the possibility that it could be more expensive than an adopted one depending on the needs that the person has, i mean each person has different needs that need a different expense, i think that maybe it would be good to do a genetic test that can guide you a little more on that because i don't know maybe there is a risk of transmitting to your child a genetic condition that makes you have to spend more to give him/her a decent life. You don't need to answer if you don't want to, after all it's your choice.

Hey! No, not rude at all. It's expensive because it's paid basically all at once. Adopting a child, there's fees of using a lawyer, home studies, therapy, etc. I worded it wrong ($2,000 isn't expensive, that's adopting from foster care, but domestic, international, etc is very expensive because all fees are usually all at once!)

With genetic testing, of course that's ideal if you prefer a child that not doesn't have a genetic disorder. Genetic testing isn't as expensive as adopting, it's ranges from $99 to $2,000 and can be paid in payments which is more doable. I can do genetic testing on myself to see if I'm a carrier of any kind, along with a spouse.

Genetic Disorders don't run in my family, all except the usual health issues like diabetes, etc which happens to be weight related and completely fixable.

My main issue of the other comment is basically giving the "ultimatum" like if I ultimately want children then adopt from the system, which I for-mentioned that adopting is expensive for many reasons, not including the therapy the child may need, or other things. Adopting from the system isn't as expensive.

Again I don't mind adopting from the system, not saying it's an issue for me to adopt. But outright saying that maybe I should adopt because of mental or physical problems is rude and disrespectful.

Your comment wasn't rude. Your comment was inquisitive and inquiring of information. You're curious and just asking a question which I appreciate!

 

[thewalkingdread]

Who are you to comment on my choice to have biological children or not?

I'm absolutely no one.

I'm just a person on the brink of suicide that every night, when he goes to sleep, wishes he won't wake up the next morning... And that spends most of his awake time daydreaming, wishing he wasn't born into this horror show most people call "the miracle of life", to begin with.

And... do you want to know why I am here in this miserable situation?! Not a by any "divine miracle", that's certain. But because two egotistical, inconsiderate, reckless idiots, thinking exactly like you, just assumed that this was their choice to make, not mine.

Hell... they didn't even think for a second that life can always go badly wrong. In their "parenting" dellusional minds, the "forecast" was all sunshine and rainbows. Well... the reality check came out and guess what?! It's mostly the opposite of that.

I didn't chose or gave my consent to any of it. So, for as long as I am still alive, I will speak out for those who can't. All I did was just contrapose, criticize and warn you about the very bad and serious consequences of bringing a new sentient life into existence. Very far from violating any "rights" or imposing ultimatums, as you portrayed me.

if I want to have children anyway I want, I'll rightfully do so.

No. It's not your — or anyone's — right to "have children". You don't have any rights when your actions are all about the life of a third person — i.e. the child — that can't consent to it.

So, no. Just because you can biologicaly procreate, that doesn't mean you are entitled to do so — ethically or legally.

If it is YOUR CHOICE not to bring a child into this world, that's an amazing choice for you! I'm proud for you realizing that you don't want that for yourself.

No... Once again, here you can see how you've grossly misread me.

This is not about me. It's not about my choices, desires or opinions. This about what's best for the potential child.

 

[Abandoned Character]

So, no. Just because you can biologicaly procreate, that doesn't mean you are entitled to do so — ethically or legally.

Did you say legally here because you wanted to fill the page? Not sure under what government it is illegal to have a child. And this is, ultimately, an opinion of yours. Antinatalism is not a conclusion that everyone necessarily comes to, we all experience things differently that may affect the way we see the world and ourselves in relation to it. I do not think this is the thread to impose your beliefs on others, although the question of adoption and its feasability is totally fair. Perhaps @kaitekat23 was put off by the aggressive nature of you original comment, and really it is not worth engaging with if one does not subscribe to the antinatalist philosophy--there is simply a fundamental dissonance that cannot be bridged.

The question is about the importance of consent of a non-existent being. Such a question does not have as clear an answer as you may think it does.

I want to see a world where I'm healing.

Good luck with life!

 

[Dot]

I'm absolutely no one.

I'm just a person on the brink of suicide that every night, when he goes to sleep, wishes he won't wake up the next morning... And that spends most of his awake time daydreaming, wishing he wasn't born into this horror show most people call "the miracle of life", to begin with.

And... do you want to know why I am here in this miserable situation?! Not a by any "divine miracle", that's certain. But because two egotistical, inconsiderate, reckless idiots, thinking exactly like you, just assumed that this was their choice to make, not mine.

Hell... they didn't even think for a second that life can always go badly wrong. In their "parenting" dellusional minds, the "forecast" was all sunshine and rainbows. Well... the reality check came out and guess what?! It's mostly the opposite of that.

I didn't chose or gave my consent to any of it. So, for as long as I am still alive, I will speak out for those who can't. All I did was just contrapose, criticize and warn you about the very bad and serious consequences of bringing a new sentient life into existence. Very far from violating any "rights" or imposing ultimatums, as you portrayed me.




No. It's not your — or anyone's — right to "have children". You don't have any rights when your actions are all about the life of a third person — i.e. the child — that can't consent to it.

So, no. Just because you can biologicaly procreate, that doesn't mean you are entitled to do so — ethically or legally.




No... Once again, here you can see how you've grossly misread me.

This is not about me. It's not about my choices, desires or opinions. This about what's best for the potential child.

A recvry thred = nt a plce fr anti-natlsm argmnts

Am srry tht u fnd xistng dffclt as d/ mst usrs on SaSu bt OP = Ntitld 2 d/ wht thy wnt2 wth thr lfe - & thy r makng stps t/ cre8 a hlthy Nvirnmnt fr ptentl childrn whch = mre thn mst parnts d/

Jst bcse u d/ nt agree wth havng childrn ds nt mean tht OP = nt allowd 2

Gd lck wth ur healng journy @kaitekat23

 

[kaitekat23]

Did you say legally here because you wanted to fill the page? Not sure under what government it is illegal to have a child. And this is, ultimately, an opinion of yours. Antinatalism is not a conclusion that everyone necessarily comes to, we all experience things differently that may affect the way we see the world and ourselves in relation to it. I do not think this is the thread to impose your beliefs on others, although the question of adoption and its feasability is totally fair. Perhaps @kaitekat23 was put off by the aggressive nature of you original comment, and really it is not worth engaging with if one does not subscribe to the antinatalist philosophy--there is simply a fundamental dissonance that cannot be bridged.

The question is about the importance of consent of a non-existent being. Such a question does not have as clear an answer as you may think it does.


Good luck with life!

YES! thank you. Said it better than I could.