I want to be happy but its really hard

[HaibaneRakka]

I feel as if I dont belong in the world. Ive tried for so long to fix issues I felt I had in my life at first I thought it was just mental health issues but later I realized I had alot of trauma from various things built up over my life and started to address it and heal. I thought doing this would make me happy make the painful things go away but its like the more I healed the more I understood myself the more I uncovered about myself and things in general. The world has lost its human touch, nothing feels made for people any more rather everything is made for corperations. Cars harm us in the way they shape our cities, everyone wants to be a E celebrity, nothing is even made by anyone anymore rather its just made by a series of machines with a few under paid people watching them. Things made by a person like in the sence of craftsmanship feels like its going away more and more, the things I cherish are fading to a soul less world that people cant even afford. There are rare times things feel real and often its in my dreams more then in reality. I dont feel human and I dont mean that in a philosophical sence either I dont feel like I am human is a thought that often sticks with me and bothers me not because its a problem not being human but because I Feel lost and clausterphobic like ive woken up in a world that isnt my own and I dont know how to get back, to get home. I try to make things work as much as I can but the feelings of clausterphobia are pushing me to tears and panic attacks more and more I feel comfort in my dreams and now and then somewhere else, there are people there I know. I feel in my personal beliefs this world is a cacoon for what comes next for us to build and grow to gather experiences to help shape our ideal worlds when we pass on to whatever comes next I think at times its like a forever dream. I wrote this here as I want to try to find peace in the life I have now and the world I am in but its growing more and more hard. I forgot to add the world doesnt feel like it has the same love I remember it feels like people love me but I rarely feel that love in a way it matters like I dont feel warmth often mostly due to the isolation I have from those who care about me, ive had to walk away from my family due to abuse and toxicity reasons too but I still remember the warmth of early christmas days and yearn for a world that truly cares again.

 

[bagel12]

The world has lost its human touch, nothing feels made for people any more rather everything is made for corperations. Cars harm us in the way they shape our cities, everyone wants to be a E celebrity, nothing is even made by anyone anymore rather its just made by a series of machines with a few under paid people watching them. Things made by a person like in the sence of craftsmanship feels like its going away more and more, the things I cherish are fading to a soul less world that people cant even afford. There are rare times things feel real and often its in my dreams more then in reality. I dont feel human and I dont mean that in a philosophical sence either I dont feel like I am human is a thought that often sticks with me and bothers me not because its a problem not being human but because I Feel lost and clausterphobic like ive woken up in a world that isnt my own and I dont know how to get back, to get home.

i feel the same way, i wish for a world that is centered on humans, connection, and soul rather than machines, profit, and soullessness. the world feels very bleak to me.

however, i know many people who feel the same way as we do, people who miss the sense of humanity the world used to have, and resent the soulless world we currently live in. to be honest, i think there are many people like us, and this brings me hope that one day there will be enough people like us and we can build a better world where the focus is caring for each other and finding fulfillment.

i started volunteering and i joined local activist groups, this has helped me a lot, is this an option for you?

 

[HaibaneRakka]

Im trying to volunteer at a food bank but it feels as hard as getting a paying job now volunteering in general