It didn't work. I woke up Sunday morning some time and finally managed to get out of bed yesterday evening. Thank you to all those that left a kind word in what I was hoping was final moments on this shit hole planet. Fuck you to all those that left negative comments about my behaviour towards my pets - I knew someone would be coming around Sunday evening and letting themselves in with a key, my pets had more than enough water and food to survive the intermin period - to those adamant my method would not work - give yourself a high five and virtually pat each other on the back, you were correct, hope that makes you feel good and special, yet your still here! - I was deperate and a 3m store of meds was all I had to hand. I will not be answering any questions or messages, I wish to be left alone.
You're going to be really down after this. For what it's worth I'm going to try to empathise, relate and try make you smile, even for a nano second.
So I've done this kind of attempt a fair few times and think I know exactly how you might be feeling. Physically and mentally effed, even more than before. Not surprised you said you want to be left alone. I think people just meant you weren't likely to succeed this way and could potentially make life worse. They meant well but you're just in too much pain right now so you've taken it as criticism. Yeah I've taken so many pills but my body seems ridiculously tolerant. No ill effects to organs so I suppose I've been 'lucky'. I met someone who survived jumping off BH and they didn't appreciate much being told they was lucky (not by me). Especially with the subsequent impacted joints and chronic pain.
Anyway yeah I came here and without needing to create account, ask a single question or search I now know exactly what to do. I tried my method before without research to catastrophic consequence. Both amateur and catastrophic. Ended up feeling ridiculed by police and sectioned on psych ward. Much fun was had by all.
One time with pills in desperation like you I just took everything I had. Next day when I woke up, full of gratitude (!), I read one of the leaflets which said in case of overdose 'may cause excessive calm' which strangely made me laugh. I've tried other methods and as I've read from others on here it's so strange to try, fail, then kinda just go back to doing something normal. So isolating when you can't really say anything irl. I tried telling someone recently which doesn't feel like it's gone well. So here I am I guess.
I know you're not laughing right now. Just know you're not alone in being someone who tries this and wakes up feeling horrific. Just be kind to yourself, try anything to look after yourself until you're physically recovered. I've got no answers to mental suffering or I wouldn't be here. Sending virtual empathy and understanding at the least...
