I'm not currently suicidal anymore, but

[Misanthrope0000]

But I still feel like my life is pretty meaningless, I just turned 21 yesterday,and my life is still the same, eat, sleep, rot in school from 8AM to 5PM, repeat.

I have no motivation to have a future, or to live like a real adult, I'm basically just wasting my days and waiting for something to magically happen.

I don't want to kill myself anymore (at least for now), but am I really living if I have almost no goals and pessimistic about everything?

Like. Instead of being sad that my life genuinely sucks, I'm more numb to it. Instead of envying other people, complaining about my shitty life like I always did, now I'm like, yes my life sucks, so what? And go scroll on reels or TikTok laughing at memes, listening to music, looking at fashion posts online, chat with my friends and repeat.
My latest suicide rant was on july
I'm an adult, but live like a 13 years old girl.

 

[antiqueantipodean]

I feel very similar, you're not alone

 

[LostZombie]

Yeah that is my biggest gripe with life, is that over a lifetime we will spend 90,000 hours working or around 2,000 weeks of nothing but work. It's the rat race, which not many people truly want to be a part of it, and it's okay if you want to see if it's for you since life is not fro everyone. You get to decide what you want to do with your life, and if you want to escape the rat race, that is okay. If you want to stay that is okay too, it's your life no one else should tell you how you should live it.