Venting I'm never calling an ambulance again.

[Falling_apart]

I still haven't gotten over what happened to me nearly a year ago. Something happened to my brain, I couldn't remember things or concentrate, constantly lost in daydreams. I started having horrible episodes in bed in the middle of the night, I called them my damnation attacks. I was losing my sense of self. One morning I collapsed and managed to call 999. They sent an ambulance to take me to A&E. Some consultant talked to me and asked me some memory tests and then basically told me I would probably be discharged because there was no room. I started arguing with him and the nurses. I told a nurse I couldn't believe how callous she was being and she actually laughed at me. I ended up in a hospital trolley in a room by myself. I realised I had my antidepressants on me and started taking them. I took six of them and then told the nurse that since you left me to take care of my own medication when I can barely remember my own name there might just be a slight possibility of overdose. They all started to try to get the pills off me and I remember telling them I would kill myself if they didn't get some journalist in here to see how they were treating me. Then I blacked out.

When I came to they had a security guard watching over me. He said some condescending things with a smirk but I said "Spare me the humour the madman crap, tell me, I have to know. Did I hurt any innocent people?" he told me no.

I was there for hours on one of those horrible uncomfortable trolleys then the consultant comes again and tells me that yep, they're discharging me. I humiliated myself and was laughed at and nobody cared even when I literally tried to kill myself in front of them, all for nothing. And to add insult to injury, they sent me a bill for a hundred euro. (Although I did manage to get that charged to my medical card.) If they're the sane ones, then sanity isn't all it's cracked up to be. At least I have compassion for other people.

I have autism and depression, have had suicidal ideation since I was 15 and have had multiple suicide attempts
but I've never lost my mind like that before and I'm terrified it'll happen again. Of course, they couldn't be bothered to diagnose me. Does anyone know what happened to me?

 

[_Maya]

there's a lot of things this could be, but it'd require more knowledge about prior history to properly diagnose. Even then, i'm not a doctor so i'd probably get it wrong.
You say you have attempted ctb before, in which way did you attempt? brain damage may cause Amnesia sometimes.

 

[Falling_apart]

I slit my wrists before so it wasn't that.

 

[missedmybus]

What medications are you on? A lot of medications have side effects like this.

 

[Falling_apart]

Valdoxan.