Venting Here we go again

[kapa]

I've been away from this forum for some months know. When i decided to end things and couldn't do it i gave myself one year. And for the first time on 17 years I had a purpose in my life I wanted to live. To be honest it was new feeling for me since I've forgotten what it was like. It was amazing honestly. But then i met a person who pushed my limits so badly I relapsed again. And it was just for one day, they kept pushing my limits only for one day ( I cut them off ) but after the 100th time I have said no and don't push me i couldn't stand anything anymore and the only thing I wanted was to not be alive so I don't have to endure this any longer. Amd know i feel even worse than before. Because I actually got really better and now the thoughts are back and it's worse than before and honestly I want to live but my brain keeps telling me over and over that i don't deserve it.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

You do deserve to live and nothing is your fault. I'm so sorry you have had to suffer so much. The fact that you want to live proves that there is hope you can get better. Cling on to that hope and keep pushing through all of the pain and hardships. If you do manage to get better and improve your life again it will all be worth it.

 

[Cepheuss]

Are you saying ur 17?