I'm never alone

[kelimackie]

I live with my boyfriend and my parents live in the house on the floor above, I'm literally never alone.

I don't want to die in my house cause it's my parents property, and I don't want to devalue it or make it inhabitable for my partner.

But it would be weird of me to just randomly decide to go out, especially at night, since I don't have any friends or family members.

I could just disappear, but I'm scared they will find me too soon with the help of the police.

Do you guys have any suggestion?

 

[cali22♡]

I know that from myself,

I sometimes have thoughts of just killing myself even though I have everyone behind me. . . . Parents. . .

i have no idea what to do myself i am a pussy to go to a therapist i am afraid he will make fun of me or not believe me that what i say is not true i don't have bad self-confidence. . .
Sorry if that doesn't make sense

 

[Necrosis]

I'd suggest to try and make a habit of going on late walks. Not right away doing anything harmful on them. Just showing you leave and come back okay. This gives you some alone time to think or even just a new coping skill but also it helps with your interference with ctb.
If you want to "disappear" without ctb that's another story.

I know that from myself,

I sometimes have thoughts of just killing myself even though I have everyone behind me. . . . Parents. . .

i have no idea what to do myself i am a pussy to go to a therapist i am afraid he will make fun of me or not believe me that what i say is not true i don't have bad self-confidence. . .
Sorry if that doesn't make sense

I understand your fear of therapy. It's valid. I can say from experience, even my bad ones, that they won't say the worst case hurtful things you're expressing. They are usually pretty professional at first and will keep it that way if that's what you're comfortable with. They will call you out if they catch on to you trying to manipulate them for whatever reason.