I’m mad that my sister outshines me

[sserafim]

I'm mad that my sister outshines me. We both had our IQ tested when we were kids, and she has a higher one than me. We're both in the gifted range, but hers is just a bit higher. She's attending an Ivy League school right now, and I'm jealous of the fact that she's smarter and more talented than me. I went to a good college as well (one of the best in the country and the equivalent of the Ivies), but not an Ivy. My sister also only has ADHD, not ASD, so she doesn't have any trouble talking to or interacting with people. It's not fair that she has it easier than me. My mom has also always favored her, my sister is the golden child while I'm the black sheep.

 

[Goku Black]

She's attending an Ivy League school right now, and I'm jealous of the fact that she's smarter and more talented than me. I went to a good college as well (one of the best in the country and the equivalent of the Ivies), but not an Ivy.

My older brother seems to have things going for him whereas I'm just waiting to ctb which he is completely oblivious to, I even told him that at least things seem to be going well for him whereas things have been going down hill for me for a while now.

My mom has also always favored her, my sister is the golden child while I'm the black sheep.

Man, I don't understand why do parents do this, support the one kid that's doing great and neglect the other whose clearly struggling, leaving them to their own devices.

 

[sserafim]

My older brother seems to have things going for him whereas I'm just waiting to ctb which he is completely oblivious to, I even told him that at least things seem to be going well for him whereas things have been going down hill for me for a while now.


Man, I don't understand why do parents do this, support the one kid that's doing great and neglect the other whose clearly struggling, leaving them to their own devices.

Yeah, I don't know either. My mom just always had a special bond with my sister, they were able to connect and vibe with each other. They're like two best friends. Unfortunately, my mom has never been able to be close with me in the same way, there was always a kind of distance and disconnect between us.

 

[dinosavr]

I love my siblings but having them is a curse!
My twin sister got married and I haven't even kissed anyone ever:)

 

[Goku Black]

Yeah, I don't know either. My mom just always had a special bond with my sister, they were able to connect and vibe with each other. They're like two best friends.

I'm really sorry about this, pretty clear why she treats you differently from your sister.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

I'm mad that my sister outshines me. We both had our IQ tested when we were kids, and she has a higher one than me. We're both in the gifted range, but hers is just a bit higher. She's attending an Ivy League school right now, and I'm jealous of the fact that she's smarter and more talented than me. I went to a good college as well (one of the best in the country and the equivalent of the Ivies), but not an Ivy. My sister also only has ADHD, not ASD, so she doesn't have any trouble talking to or interacting with people. It's not fair that she has it easier than me. My mom has also always favored her, my sister is the golden child while I'm the black sheep.

Getting pitted against a sibling must be horrible, especially if there are parental favouritism.

 

[sserafim]

I'm really sorry about this, pretty clear why she treats you differently from your sister.

It's okay. Wait wdym? Why do you think it's "pretty clear why she treats [me] differently"? Why do you think she wasn't able to connect with me too? My mom and sister are like birds of a feather and two peas in a pod, and sometimes I wish I could be close to them as well.

 

[Sleeper System]

Can't relate. Couldn't picture a version of me where I would be nothing but proud of my sibling for having so much success. It would put me at ease that they found a path and are self sufficient even if I wasn't either of those things. You can give someone every advantage in life and they can still fuck it up or find a way to blame someone else for their difficulties. For someone to be given great opportunities and rise to the level to utilize it is something dope.
It blows my mind people can feel like this. There are family memembers I could say I hate because we don't get along but id never be jealous of one. That's just me though.

 

[Goku Black]

It's okay. Wait wdym? Why do you think it's "pretty clear why she treats [me] differently"? Why do you think she wasn't able to connect with me too? My mom and sister are like birds of a feather and two peas in a pod, and sometimes I wish I could be close to them as well.

I guess the way she's so close with your sister compared to you, hope I'm not jumping to conclusions but I guess she's more attentive towards your sister which is why you feel this way and why sometimes you wish you could be just as close, the feeling of being left out is rather familiar.

 

[Sleeper System]

Unrealistic expectations of parents. They're just shit humans like the rest of us.
They will have favorites. They will be unfair. It's like what do you expect? xD
I have a favorite parent and I also have a favorite friend and a favorite food.
When people say bullshit like I love them equally or I could never chose its
just cheap sympathy and lies to not hurt feelings. We all chose what we chose.

 

[Final_Choice]

For me I was always the "smart one" and had high expectations. My older brother was always more athletic and eventually joined the Army, for some reason though they always put more expectations on me because I was more quiet and so I should be the smart one. I've tried to meet their expectations but the ceiling is always raised more and more. I ended up going to an T20 (not Ivy but equivalent) college, but no matter what I do I still can't meet their expectations. I've got several health conditions and they just tell me to stop whining and just ignore them, but I can't, it literally impacts me in permanent ways that make living so much harder. I wish I wasn't considered the "golden child" so I could have more normal expectation but also so my own siblings won't feel bad since this whole sibling ranking has created discord between us sometimes. They think I have it better but I'm the only one who thinks about CTBing every living moment of my life while they can get off living more normal lives.

 

[R_N]

It's okay. Wait wdym? Why do you think it's "pretty clear why she treats [me] differently"? Why do you think she wasn't able to connect with me too? My mom and sister are like birds of a feather and two peas in a pod, and sometimes I wish I could be close to them as well.

Do you think she favours her more or it could be you being distant and needing space often?

Would you like it more if you two (or three) were more close and you felt cared for? I am not saying she doesn't care. For example my mom cares a lot about me but I don't spend too much time with her anymore because I feel the need to distance myself.

 

[sserafim]

For me I was always the "smart one" and had high expectations. My older brother was always more athletic and eventually joined the Army, for some reason though they always put more expectations on me because I was more quiet and so I should be the smart one. I've tried to meet their expectations but the ceiling is always raised more and more. I ended up going to an T20 (not Ivy but equivalent) college, but no matter what I do I still can't meet their expectations. I've got several health conditions and they just tell me to stop whining and just ignore them, but I can't, it literally impacts me in permanent ways that make living so much harder. I wish I wasn't considered the "golden child" so I could have more normal expectation but also so my own siblings won't feel bad since this whole sibling ranking has created discord between us sometimes. They think I have it better but I'm the only one who thinks about CTBing every living moment of my life while they can get off living more normal lives.

For my sister and I, we were both the "smart one" and our parents put high expectations on us as well. They expected me to be a high achiever and I think they even put more expectations on me because I'm the oldest, and they wanted me to be a good role model for my sister. I failed to launch after college so now they see me as a failure, and I've become the black sheep. They wanted me to become a doctor and my sister to become a lawyer.

Do you think she favours her more or it could be you being distant and needing space often?

Would you like it more if you two (or three) were more close and you felt cared for? I am not saying she doesn't care. For example my mom cares a lot about me but I don't spend too much time with her anymore because I feel the need to distance myself.

I think she favors her more because they just naturally have a bond. They just click, and can relate to each other well. I'm not sure, I think it's more of the fact that my mom's personality and mine probably are incompatible or something…my mom always says that she "[doesn't] understand [me]" and that she "[doesn't] know what [I'm] thinking".

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

It's the Asperger's. Honestly this shit is so hard it should be legit disability.
My older brother is neurotypical and he's financially successful while I am not because of my social struggles due to autism.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

Can't relate. Couldn't picture a version of me where I would be nothing but proud of my sibling for having so much success. It would put me at ease that they found a path and are self sufficient even if I wasn't either of those things. You can give someone every advantage in life and they can still fuck it up or find a way to blame someone else for their difficulties. For someone to be given great opportunities and rise to the level to utilize it is something dope.
It blows my mind people can feel like this. There are family memembers I could say I hate because we don't get along but id never be jealous of one. That's just me though.

This is also me! I have a younger brother, my parents have paid for him to have birthday parties and school trips abroad. I was always too scared to ask for those things because of our financial situation, but I'm glad at least one of us was able to experience them. I'm proud to say he's much smarter than me, he could probably go much further than I ever could.

To me he is like my first child, so maybe it's different dynamics between older and younger siblings?

 

[sserafim]

Can't relate. Couldn't picture a version of me where I would be nothing but proud of my sibling for having so much success. It would put me at ease that they found a path and are self sufficient even if I wasn't either of those things. You can give someone every advantage in life and they can still fuck it up or find a way to blame someone else for their difficulties. For someone to be given great opportunities and rise to the level to utilize it is something dope.
It blows my mind people can feel like this. There are family memembers I could say I hate because we don't get along but id never be jealous of one. That's just me though.

Yeah I'm proud of my sister and happy about her achievements, but I can't help but feel some jealousy…they say jealousy is the green-eyed monster and I wish that I didn't have to deal with it.

 

[R_N]

I think she favors her more because they just naturally have a bond. They just click, and can relate to each other well. I'm not sure, I think it's more of the fact that my mom's personality and mine probably are incompatible or something…my mom always says that she "[doesn't] understand [me]" and that she "[doesn't] know what [I'm] thinking".

I don't think it matters if you two are different when it comes to her love for you. You are her daughter.

But, I never lived your life and I don't know her and how she treated you. I am just saying that being different doesn't mean she has no love for you or that she loves your sister more.

 

[Sleeper System]

Yeah I'm proud of my sister and happy about her achievements, but I can't help but feel some jealousy…they say jealousy is the green-eyed monster and I wish that I didn't have to deal with it.

I can understand that. We can't always control what we feel.
I guess you have to think about it with an open mind.
I'm sure your sister has her own pressures and insecurites too.
Look at what @Final_Choice said about herself.
In her case she is the supposed golden child and it's not always rainbows and sunshine on the other side. A parental and sibling relationship is like every other relationship. It be the little things that count. Ask about their day. Doing something for them without being asked. Taking something off their shoulders. Taking the time to learn their interests.
You're not in competition with your sister.
Unless she's the type to talk shit and throw things if your face then you shouldn't resent her.
Her path isnt your path and your path isn't hers. You can both do good in your own ways.

 

[UserHussein]

You sound crazy to me. I encourage you to read my prior posts, because I would literally kill to be in your position and to attend a good top tier school.

I would [seriously] kill someone to have what you have. I'm incredibly academically dysfunctional and I attend one of the worst colleges in all of America (UMBC). I could barely succeed in Community College and I'm failing in this college as well.

If fact, this academic dysfunction is the reason why I'm on this forum and want so badly to CTB. I'm literally on the brink.

My prior posts where I complain about my academic malfunctions:

I'm really insecure about missing out on the "college experience".

I've been going through a depression recently, over reflecting of all the experiences I missed out on. I went to a Community College for three years, it was only supposed to take two years but I messed up, got poor grades, had to drop and retake courses and I finished in three years. After...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I'm suicidal due to academic competition.

One thing in which I'm incredibly insecure over is my University, and specifically its low ranking. I'm also insecure at my friends who were able to attend higher ranked Universities, score better on the SAT, etc.. I just don't understand how they were able to do it, and I wasn't. What do they...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Please rate and possibly add corrections to my suicide note.

Greetings. If you are reading this note, it is because I have decided to hang myself by my throat and pre-maturely end my own life. I don’t want to drone on in an emotional rant, but rather I just want to briefly explain why I made the decision that I did, to provide a bit of clarity to those...

sanctioned-suicide.net

You attend a top college equivalent to an IVY? Damn, I wish I could go there. You sound so fortunate, I would be so happy if I could have what you have. (Pls PM me what college you go to, just curious)

 

[sserafim]

You sound crazy to me. I encourage you to read my prior posts, because I would literally kill to be in your position and to attend a good top tier school.

I would [seriously] kill someone to have what you have. I'm incredibly academically dysfunctional and I attend one of the worst colleges in all of America (UMBC). I could barely succeed in Community College and I'm failing in this college as well.

If fact, this academic dysfunction is the reason why I'm on this forum and want so badly to CTB. I'm literally on the brink.

My prior posts where I complain about my academic malfunctions:

I'm really insecure about missing out on the "college experience".

I've been going through a depression recently, over reflecting of all the experiences I missed out on. I went to a Community College for three years, it was only supposed to take two years but I messed up, got poor grades, had to drop and retake courses and I finished in three years. After...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I'm suicidal due to academic competition.

One thing in which I'm incredibly insecure over is my University, and specifically its low ranking. I'm also insecure at my friends who were able to attend higher ranked Universities, score better on the SAT, etc.. I just don't understand how they were able to do it, and I wasn't. What do they...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Please rate and possibly add corrections to my suicide note.

Greetings. If you are reading this note, it is because I have decided to hang myself by my throat and pre-maturely end my own life. I don’t want to drone on in an emotional rant, but rather I just want to briefly explain why I made the decision that I did, to provide a bit of clarity to those...

sanctioned-suicide.net

You attend a top college equivalent to an IVY? Damn, I wish I could go there. You sound so fortunate, I would be so happy if I could have what you have. (Pls PM me what college you go to, just curious)

Lol how and why do I sound crazy? I attended a top college but failed to launch though

 

[divinemistress36]

Lol how and why do I sound crazy? I attended a top college but failed to launch though

You have lots of time to launch if you choose to do so

 

[sserafim]

You have lots of time to launch if you choose to do so

I don't want to launch though lol. Unfortunately I'll probably be forced to

 

[divinemistress36]

I

I don't want to launch though lol. Unfortunately I'll probably be forced to

I understand. I just notice a lot of people in their 20s think they need to accomplish everything by 30 or they are a failure. Is there any kind of work you would be interested in?

 

[sserafim]

I

I understand. I just notice a lot of people in their 20s think they need to accomplish everything by 30 or they are a failure. Is there any kind of work you would be interested in?

Honestly, no. There's no kind of work that I would be interested in. I believe that work is modern day slavery. I don't want to be a slave to the system. I would rather die! My main motivation to ctb is to avoid having to work (I know it sounds stupid) and getting old. I don't want to live past 25. I can't imagine reaching my late 20s. I don't think that I'm meant to live for a long time

 

[divinemistress36]

I was hoping you would become a neuroscientist and help find why we all have fucked up brains