Venting I’m lost at this point.

[wealllovesodium]

I don't understand why this keeps happening, I'll go from feeling better to feeling like I never got better, but I know I've gotten better. It's such a conflicting feeling. I've been clean from sh for months but I still want to do it, and I get that's part of addiction, once it's there it's never really gone but still. Uergh, I wanna reach into my brain and grab the chunks that make feel like this and throw them against the wall.

 

[getoutgirl]

Back in my day we called those lobotomies. No but I feel you. It's a hard struggle and a daily one, some days easier than others. Congrats on being clean for months now, that takes a lot and I'm sure you've gotten better and grown. I also wished those nasty thoughts would leave you so you could see it clearer. But we have to deal with them how we can and I'm sure you can. Take it easy whenever posible, big hugs <3