I'm gonna fail college again

[Marguerite492]

This was my last shot. I've tried higher education four times. FOUR. Im failing again. I don't know what to tell my mom, all she can talk about is how proud she is of me. Not to mention the fact she's told me again and again that this was my last shot. Plus i fucked up by talking big game that I would succeed, which I suppose I did because I hoped maybe it I lied to myself it might actually happen.

Oops. Guess I forgot I'm a loser failure that has flunked out of school four times. If i had one wish on this earth, dear god i wish I was never born. I have destroyed my poor mom's life just by existing. I don't know what to do.
Plus she's been buying me gifts and stuff bc I'm "doing so well" and she's "so proud of me"

I want to die

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

This sounds like a very tough situation, I'm sorry you are going through this! Your mom sounds decent though, can you talk to her about your struggles; help her understand that the pressure she's putting on you to "succeed" is damaging? Higher education, in many places, is just a money making scheme and in no way does it make you a lesser person if you don't have fancy degrees.

This was my last shot. I've tried higher education four times. FOUR. Im failing again. I don't know what to tell my mom, all she can talk about is how proud she is of me. Not to mention the fact she's told me again and again that this was my last shot. Plus i fucked up by talking big game that I would succeed, which I suppose I did because I hoped maybe it I lied to myself it might actually happen.

Oops. Guess I forgot I'm a loser failure that has flunked out of school four times. If i had one wish on this earth, dear god i wish I was never born. I have destroyed my poor mom's life just by existing. I don't know what to do.
Plus she's been buying me gifts and stuff bc I'm "doing so well" and she's "so proud of me"

I want to die

 

[Marguerite492]

This sounds like a very tough situation, I'm sorry you are going through this! Your mom sounds decent though, can you talk to her about your struggles; help her understand that the pressure she's putting on you to "succeed" is damaging? Higher education, in many places, is just a money making scheme and in no way does it make you a lesser person if you don't have fancy degrees.

My mom is great, and I'm actually in a trade school rn so it's free, it's just i have sapped her for everything she has. She's tired of trying again and again for years to get me to succeed, and her exhaustion is valid. If i Had me for a daughter I'd hate me, but she pays my rent, pays my food, my clothes, anything she can do to try and get me to not be stressed and succeed. And i want to be successful, but I know I'm kidding myself. I can't handle school for longer than 6 months, I'll never be able to handle a job or rent on my own. I just need to end it

My mom is great, and I'm actually in a trade school rn so it's free, it's just i have sapped her for everything she has. She's tired of trying again and again for years to get me to succeed, and her exhaustion is valid. If i Had me for a daughter I'd hate me, but she pays my rent, pays my food, my clothes, anything she can do to try and get me to not be stressed and succeed. And i want to be successful, but I know I'm kidding myself. I can't handle school for longer than 6 months, I'll never be able to handle a job or rent on my own. I just need to end it

I just wish she would hate me too. It would make it easier. But maybe it's better if i CTB while she still loves me than dying later in the streets without her support

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

My mom is great, and I'm actually in a trade school rn so it's free, it's just i have sapped her for everything she has. She's tired of trying again and again for years to get me to succeed, and her exhaustion is valid. If i Had me for a daughter I'd hate me, but she pays my rent, pays my food, my clothes, anything she can do to try and get me to not be stressed and succeed. And i want to be successful, but I know I'm kidding myself. I can't handle school for longer than 6 months, I'll never be able to handle a job or rent on my own. I just need to end it

I just wish she would hate me too. It would make it easier. But maybe it's better if i CTB while she still loves me than dying later in the streets without her support

She does sound great. When are you going to tell her you failed again, and did you guys come up with an alternative plan prior, should this time not work out?

 

[Someone123]

My mom is great, and I'm actually in a trade school rn so it's free, it's just i have sapped her for everything she has. She's tired of trying again and again for years to get me to succeed, and her exhaustion is valid. If i Had me for a daughter I'd hate me, but she pays my rent, pays my food, my clothes, anything she can do to try and get me to not be stressed and succeed. And i want to be successful, but I know I'm kidding myself. I can't handle school for longer than 6 months, I'll never be able to handle a job or rent on my own. I just need to end it

I just wish she would hate me too. It would make it easier. But maybe it's better if i CTB while she still loves me than dying later in the streets without her support

There could be other ways to support yourself- what typoe of trade are you trying? Is there something else that you could do? SO jobs like x-ray technician take only a year oif training and pay decently. Maybe there is some other course of study- possibly cutting hair, which can be good money. Taking time away from school and waiitressing might work out, it can pay well enough. What types of coursework have you tried? YOur mom has been helpful, but she also needs to have a polan for helping you through a time if you can't do the coursework- you are trying, hopefully she can adapt to a change in a plan for working.

 

[Marguerite492]

She does sound great. When are you going to tell her you failed again, and did you guys come up with an alternative plan prior, should this time not work out?

I'm not gonna. I'm done dissappointing her. It breaks my heart.

There could be other ways to support yourself- what typoe of trade are you trying? Is there something else that you could do? SO jobs like x-ray technician take only a year oif training and pay decently. Maybe there is some other course of study- possibly cutting hair, which can be good money. Taking time away from school and waiitressing might work out, it can pay well enough. What types of coursework have you tried? YOur mom has been helpful, but she also needs to have a polan for helping you through a time if you can't do the coursework- you are trying, hopefully she can adapt to a change in a plan for working.

I can't hold a job, period. I'm just done. I'm not suited for life

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds tiring and stressful what you are going through. I also wish that I never existed more than anything, it would have been ideal for me to have never been brought into this world.
I wish you the best.