I'm giving up..

[Anxious_Panda]

I've tried so many things to try to prove to myself that the universe actually wants me here. I've tried so many medications, 8 different psychologists and doctors, therapy from 4 different counslers, I've tried inpatient therapy which made things worse. I've tried relying on someone else to help me, and she left when I needed her most. So now I'm on my own, stuck in my own head. I've tried finding my passions, but nothing ever sticks. College has become my last resort at convincing myself to live, and it's slowly slipping through my fingers too. I've tried toutoring, reaching out to the teachers, studying for hours. But nothing helps. I'm coming to realize.. That maybe I'm just not supposed to be here. Maybe I'm really not meant to live in this world. Everything I've tried living for, has proved me wrong. Again and again. What do you do, when you have nothing left to live for anymore? How do you keep going when your whole being says stop? When am I allowed to lay down and say enough is enough, I'm done.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

you don't have to exist because the universe wants you to. you exist only for yourself and not any other person or higher power. it's okay if you want to rest and stop. you don't have to be given permission to do so. you don't need permission to do so.

 

[TheQ22]

I've tried so many things to try to prove to myself that the universe actually wants me here. I've tried so many medications, 8 different psychologists and doctors, therapy from 4 different counslers, I've tried inpatient therapy which made things worse. I've tried relying on someone else to help me, and she left when I needed her most. So now I'm on my own, stuck in my own head. I've tried finding my passions, but nothing ever sticks. College has become my last resort at convincing myself to live, and it's slowly slipping through my fingers too. I've tried toutoring, reaching out to the teachers, studying for hours. But nothing helps. I'm coming to realize.. That maybe I'm just not supposed to be here. Maybe I'm really not meant to live in this world. Everything I've tried living for, has proved me wrong. Again and again. What do you do, when you have nothing left to live for anymore? How do you keep going when your whole being says stop? When am I allowed to lay down and say enough is enough, I'm done.

Listen I'm all for pro choice and would always support you in any decision. But you sound quite young, and as a young person you have a lot of years ahead of you to discover and experience amazing and wonderful things, and to meet and get to know amazing and wonderful people.

Some of those things, while you might not imagine it now, might make you so incredibly happy, I really think you should give life a good shot.

It might seem hypocritical of me to say that, but I'm old, I have few options, and society favours (rightly) the young over the old.

So I think you should give life a shot, you can always change your mind later. When you get older - well you don't have the options nor the time.

So do the opposite of me and grasp all you can while you can, and please, find a way to be happy.

 

[Ghost2211]

Hey friend, I can understand how tired you feel. Hugs and love.

 

[Anxious_Panda]

you don't have to exist because the universe wants you to. you exist only for yourself and not any other person or higher power. it's okay if you want to rest and stop. you don't have to be given permission to do so. you don't need permission to do so.

Thank you. Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. And thank you for your kind words. It really means a lot to me.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

The universe is mindless and indifferent to everyone, no exceptions.
You mentioned therapy, have you tried some kind of art therapy instead of traditional nonsense pseudotherapy and shrinks?
Art classes at college? Drawing handsome model guys or beautiful girls. I never had a chance, I draw fan-art from comic books, mangas, anime and cartoons.
I assume you;re not older than 20-23 y-old, right? Don;t give up yet please,

 

[Anxious_Panda]

Listen I'm all for pro choice and would always support you in any decision. But you sound quite young, and as a young person you have a lot of years ahead of you to discover and experience amazing and wonderful things, and to meet and get to know amazing and wonderful people.

Some of those things, while you might not imagine it now, might make you so incredibly happy, I really think you should give life a good shot.

It might seem hypocritical of me to say that, but I'm old, I have few options, and society favours (rightly) the young over the old.

So I think you should give life a shot, you can always change your mind later. When you get older - well you don't have the options nor the time.

So do the opposite of me and grasp all you can while you can, and please, find a way to be happy.

I'm 25. Considering the extent to which I suffer from extreme anxitey and severe depression, since I've been 14, I'm surprised I've made it as long as I have. What's the point in living through a horrendous painful existence, in the hope that it "might" "eventually" someday get better? If it does, then fine. Fantastic. But if it doesn't, ive then needlessly, spent my whole life, being a burden on others and putting myself through needless pain and torment, searching for something that may never exist in my life. Ive tried. I'm exhausted in all ways possible. I'm drained.

The universe is mindless and indifferent to everyone, no exceptions.
You mentioned therapy, have you tried some kind of art therapy instead of traditional nonsense pseudotherapy and shrinks?
Art classes at college? Drawing handsome model guys or beautiful girls. I never had a chance, I draw fan-art from comic books, mangas, anime and cartoons.
I assume you;re not older than 20-23 y-old, right? Don;t give up yet please,

25. And yes. I have. I've tried art therapy, music therapy, animal therapy, I've tried creative writing, guided imagery, hypnosis, medications, you name it. I've tried in person and online. Ive tried exercise groups, many different kinds of jobs, traveling isnt any option because I don't drive due to anxiety. I've tried art classes and while I enjoy sketching, I have a bad history with the teacher on campus. I've worked for her previously and I don't agree with her values, views, or the way she teaches the classes. I tried twice and ended up more miserable in the classes than out. I don't like being forced to take on techniques I dont like.

 

[TheQ22]

I'm 25. Considering the extent to which I suffer from extreme anxitey and severe depression, since I've been 14, I'm surprised I've made it as long as I have. What's the point in living through a horrendous painful existence, in the hope that it "might" "eventually" someday get better? If it does, then fine. Fantastic. But if it doesn't, ive then needlessly, spent my whole life, being a burden on others and putting myself through needless pain and torment, searching for something that may never exist in my life. Ive tried. I'm exhausted in all ways possible. I'm drained.

25. And yes. I have. I've tried art therapy, music therapy, animal therapy, I've tried creative writing, guided imagery, hypnosis, medications, you name it. I've tried in person and online. Ive tried exercise groups, many different kinds of jobs, traveling isnt any option because I don't drive due to anxiety. I've tried art classes and while I enjoy sketching, I have a bad history with the teacher on campus. I've worked for her previously and I don't agree with her values, views, or the way she teaches the classes. I tried twice and ended up more miserable in the classes than out. I don't like being forced to take on techniques I dont like.

I sincerely hope and pray (and I'm not even religious at all) that you can find some form of happiness.

But if you can't, I understand that too.

I simply wish you the very best, whatever you decide.

And I hope whatever that is, that it brings you a lot of pleasure for a long time.

 

[mr.smileysad]

I am extremely sorry that life has been so rough for you and I am amazed that you have had the strength and willpower to keep going I would have given up a long time ago but remember you don't owe anyone anything you have the choice to stop if you want to. If you ever want someone to talk to I'm usually available

 

[Lupgevif]

I know how you feel, for years now I have been pursuing passions just to watch myself become stagnant without any progress due to my incompetence. The only difference for me is that I have not tried as many therapists as you did and I started college failing straight away. I hope you find a way to get rid of this pain.

 

[Meditation guide]

Everything I've tried living for, has proved me wrong. Again and again.

I have felt most of my life the same way. Then as an adult had a few things, successes, that happened to me that proved I'm a capable person who usually succeeds in things. It took being over 30 for these things to start happening. Life never got any easier for me though but at least I know I can do things. It's still not enough to overcome all life has dealt me.

It's really remarkable how some people can have life continually beating them down mercilessly, so no matter what they manage to accomplish, it doesn't matter.