Like I said, I'm drunk. My first instinct: come to this site. Okay, maybe not my very first instinct but definitely up there. I wanna die so bad. On top of all the "I wanna leave" blah, I'm j so freaking curious what happens. I can dwell on all of the "im a bad person and huge failure" all day long. I'm not here to do that. I wanna talk about all the beauties we see when we finally meet death. I'm sure she is beautiful.
I think life is beautiful too. It would quite be quite oblivious to ignore the obvious. I love the sunrises and gusts of wind and little geckos that crawl along my back yard. I'll bet death has such a unique but similarly beautiful mystique. I probably won't kill myself even though I want to. I'll just have to meet her the old fashioned way. I'm too scared of regrets. I got a tattoo once that I don't entirely love. Making permenant decisions isn't exactly my strong suit.
The thing is, life is good. I love my boyfriend and he loves me. I'm studying new things. I'm advancing my place in society or whatever. I just feel this looming sense of failure in everything I do, and then subsequently a realization that there is not a single point in any of this. Then I don't want to do anything, and everything I have to do becomes an immeasurable chore. Way to really take the glitter out of something so pretty. Idk ik it's a mindset thing, but a logical mindset is what I have, and it's what tells me I should just succumb to death. Like an infant succumbing to birth.
I think life is beautiful too. It would quite be quite oblivious to ignore the obvious. I love the sunrises and gusts of wind and little geckos that crawl along my back yard. I'll bet death has such a unique but similarly beautiful mystique. I probably won't kill myself even though I want to. I'll just have to meet her the old fashioned way. I'm too scared of regrets. I got a tattoo once that I don't entirely love. Making permenant decisions isn't exactly my strong suit.
The thing is, life is good. I love my boyfriend and he loves me. I'm studying new things. I'm advancing my place in society or whatever. I just feel this looming sense of failure in everything I do, and then subsequently a realization that there is not a single point in any of this. Then I don't want to do anything, and everything I have to do becomes an immeasurable chore. Way to really take the glitter out of something so pretty. Idk ik it's a mindset thing, but a logical mindset is what I have, and it's what tells me I should just succumb to death. Like an infant succumbing to birth.
