I'm doing everything to help myself that I can do. It isn't working

[mmmwindowxcx]

Been depressed almost as long as I've been alive. I'm on medication. I go to therapy. I can manage to get myself up and do things now and then. It doesn't help. I think about ending it every single day. It's like I'm immune to feeling any joy or peace in this lifetime. There is only 1 percent left of me that wants to keep trying. I have more bad memories than good ones and I think about those memories all day every day. I can't function in the world and I don't want to become a burden. I know nobody wants to be around someone who is always sad. I have nothing else to offer. Has anyone else felt this way? Did it ever get even slightly better?

 

[LostHighway]

Have you tried ketamine infusions (expensive), esketamine intranasal, or even ECT? I'm so sorry you're depressed. Hang on to that 1%. Expand it. Even losing yourself in a good tv series, a good audiobook, a walk in your neighborhood taking photos with your iphone, or an art project or something might help. My heart goes out to you.

 

[gattara]

I have absolutely felt this way. For years I tried talk therapy and medication, and none of it got rid of my persistent sadness and shame. When I tried yoga for the first time, it was like I was finally able to forgive myself for what I had been through in a way I didn't think possible before. It wasn't yoga in a class, but at home following a trauma-informed yoga tutorial on youtube. I'm still sad and struggle with depression, and I have suicidal thoughts every day of my life. The other month, I cried thinking about how I have been miserable since I was young, and can never be happy. Despite all this struggle, I am much more accomplished now and have more things to live for as my life has gotten steadily better. Your solution doesn't have to be mine, but what I'm trying to say is that just because the typical methods of treatment haven't worked for you, doesn't mean all hope is lost. I will leave you with a quote that has helped me.

"Never lose hope, be persistent and stubborn and never give up. There are many instances in history where apparent losers suddenly turn out to be winners unexpectedly, so you should never conclude all hope is lost."
― Theodore J. Kaczynski

 

[calebzz1]

Been depressed almost as long as I've been alive. I'm on medication. I go to therapy. I can manage to get myself up and do things now and then. It doesn't help. I think about ending it every single day. It's like I'm immune to feeling any joy or peace in this lifetime. There is only 1 percent left of me that wants to keep trying. I have more bad memories than good ones and I think about those memories all day every day. I can't function in the world and I don't want to become a burden. I know nobody wants to be around someone who is always sad. I have nothing else to offer. Has anyone else felt this way? Did it ever get even slightly better?

I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way, personally I gravitated to this post heavily as I feel the same way based off the title.

I've been living with my mom since May 2024 and I really have spent a little over two years trying to find real improvement for my condition but to no avail.

I'm trying to avoid my fate of being temporarily disabled.

I have went to the top specialists, completed a lot of research and more but other than making a lot of progress in getting disability benefits nothing has really changed whatsoever.

It's really disheartening, especially when I realize that everyone else has moved on and I can really be almost blind for who knows long at this point.

I have no mental health issues but plan to see a physician assistant to see if there is anything that could be done for the physical symptoms since I found out my condition is more functional and psychogenic in nature.

I heavily relate on the burden part, it's annoying being a young man who wants to work badly but due to having a visual impairment it is impossible to do so.

I cannot continue to learn how to drive as well.

I feel barely functional at best and would not wish the feeling myself, my personality is off and people would not like how I am in person.

I wish I could offer more to the world and society but not being to see single and clearly in both eyes is such a huge barrier.

I do what I can though and have found new hobbies but there is always a strong yearning of what it is like to relax and watch a movie, read books in addition to playing video games.

I would cling on to that 1% and do your best to hold on.

 

[coolcow1289]

This is me lol. Got a better job, moved across the country, joined 3 clubs, exercise every day, bought a house, started meds, going to therapy, eating healthy.

And nope. Actually still getting worse somehow. Last checkbox is getting a girlfriend. Once that happens I can say with certainty that I'm unfixable.