Story I'm desperate...I want to die so bad.

[LilaMond]

I feel like there is not a single person on this earth that really cares for me or could help me. I don't know who to talk to. How to ask for help. Psychiatrists can't help me. I have been there also even for a longer time in psychiatry. It doesn't get better. I dont feel like being part of this world. I try tot tell my boyfriend how alone, lost and hopeless I feel, i know its a lot of pressure for him and I am sorry for that. I dont want to be a burden. But I can't help myself. I am lost. I feel so unbelievably hopeless and alone...

 

[thereisthemist]

not sure if this helps but the mist is feeling the exact same as yours
death feels so real doesn't it...

 

[unredeemable]

Sorry you're feeling that way. It's an awful place to be. Hope you find some comfort soon.

 

[HoneyandGlass]

Sorry you are feeling so alone and hopeless. I understand those feelings. It's not a nice place to be in and I'm sorry that you are in that place.

 

[LilaMond]

not sure if this helps but the mist is feeling the exact same as yours
death feels so real doesn't it...

Thank you for replying....I can not tell anyone how honestly I want to die. I know its disturbing to others and its not their problem. there was a time where I wanted to live, i had so many dreams (I wanted a family, children and just a loving husband). but everyday its seems more and more impossible to live the life I am so yearning for. I dont want to die because I hate the world. I want to die, because i cant find a home or just some warm place here on earth. I just demand a want too much love from people. they tell me i have to find the home within. but i am empty. i can not live alone with an in myself....so yes thats my death does feel real. it feels like the only escape from my pain. i know its totally subjective but I cant handle it. I feel like i dont want much from life, but I dont know what i am doing wrong. i dont blame anyone. maybe thats just the way life goes for some people. death feels real, because its feels like a place of rest and quietness. maybe like a home..

 

[thereisthemist]

Thank you for replying....I can not tell anyone how honestly I want to die. I know its disturbing to others and its not their problem. there was a time where I wanted to live, i had so many dreams (I wanted a family, children and just a loving husband). but everyday its seems more and more impossible to live the life I am so yearning for. I dont want to die because I hate the world. I want to die, because i cant find a home or just some warm place here on earth. I just demand a want too much love from people. they tell me i have to find the home within. but i am empty. i can not live alone with an in myself....so yes thats my death does feel real. it feels like the only escape from my pain. i know its totally subjective but I cant handle it. I feel like i dont want much from life, but I dont know what i am doing wrong. i dont blame anyone. maybe thats just the way life goes for some people. death feels real, because its feels like a place of rest and quietness. maybe like a home..

before any sane or insane actions u can always chill here on sasu which is the beauty of internet I guess, personally emotions already fucked up sorry if the mist seemed a bit numb, however the mist gives all the huggies it can give

 

[LifeHasNoOptIn]

 

[LilaMond]

before any sane or insane actions u can always chill here on sasu which is the beauty of internet I guess, personally emotions already fucked up sorry if the mist seemed a bit numb, however the mist gives all the huggies it can give

thank you. i feel your are right, as weird of a place as the internet is, it feels relieving to at least type my deepest thoughts down. knowing that somewhere, someone maybe even quite a lot of people, understand what i'm feeling, its virtual and i can not grasp it but it does feel a little bit comforting. thank you.

 

[unredeemable]

thank you. i feel your are right, as weird of a place as the internet is, it feels relieving to at least type my deepest thoughts down. knowing that somewhere, someone maybe even quite a lot of people, understand what i'm feeling, its virtual and i can not grasp it but it does feel a little bit comforting. thank you.

I feel the echo of your pain in mine. I ruined my marriage and a relationship with a very special friend that I'll never be able to get back. I'm alone now and it feels good for the moment. By freeing myself from entanglements, I moving closer to CTB without any guilt or shame. Or living a life on my own terms. Time will tell.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. This life really is so painful and depressing and I know that it can be hard to carry on when you are so desperate to leave. I hope that you find what you are looking for.