Venting I'm declining and finding peace in it

[renold]

I'm cutting again, and all i think and fantasize about is ctb. I'm researching heavily I'm nervous but excited, think I'm gonna finally do it. I give myself 6 months at most just need to finalize plan and get everything set up. Been writing so many notes, but I think I know what I want to say now, and I have my letter ready now. I'm just so relieved to know the end is coming i cant fucking do this. Simply cannot be expected to do this for 40 more fucking years just cause my bf and family will be sad like im so sorry to do this to them but i just need rest im already past my expiration date.

 

[Hollowman]

I'm past my expiration date too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish to be free from all the suffering as well, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[thetimehaspast]

I have been there and think I'm still there but in a darker place now. I killed my Kidneys with OD a few years ago and they starting working again. I would like to share is I got reinsurance's from very close family they needed me and they told me I would get better. I did not and they died this year which feels like a knife through the heart which constantly bleeds. i had to watch them die and know I had to stay around to watch this. I don't blame them but I feel very much worse and alone.

One thing I would like to suggest is if you were suddenly told tomorrow that you have one day to live - would it worry's you or for a split second you think your not happy with being told that's all you have left. Think maybe I will give it a go or give it more time.

Just make sure you're ready as there is a point when you can't backtrack! I wish you the best you your journey!

 

[renold]

I have been there and think I'm still there but in a darker place now. I killed my Kidneys with OD a few years ago and they starting working again. I would like to share is I got reinsurance's from very close family they needed me and they told me I would get better. I did not and they died this year which feels like a knife through the heart which constantly bleeds. i had to watch them die and know I had to stay around to watch this. I don't blame them but I feel very much worse and alone.

One thing I would like to suggest is if you were suddenly told tomorrow that you have one day to live - would it worry's you or for a split second you think your not happy with being told that's all you have left. Think maybe I will give it a go or give it more time.

Just make sure you're ready as there is a point when you can't backtrack! I wish you the best you your journey!

honestly my first thought to the "you have one day to live" was oh shit better clean my room the only things keeping me are that my effects arent settled want to leave a bit of money finding hard to wait tho really want SN or something like that to just have tho if I need to go earlier than planed