Venting im craving romantic intimacy from someone

[Leonard_Bangley39]

i want to love and be loved by someone but no matter what i do it always feels like it'll never happen. I dont want to just sleep around like a manwhore, i want to date someone, get married, and live a happy life together with them.i want to cuddle together in bed at night and feel our arms wrapped around each other. i want to relax on the couch together watching a new show we both like. i want to come home after a long day at work and release all the tension in my body as i melt into their warm embrace.

but it feels like nobody around me is worth dating. and it feels like im never in a stable enough place to start pursuing love. im just trapped here starved of romantic intimacy.
all i can do is try to fill the gaping void in my soul with cheap, quick pleasures and dopamine and goon to distract myself. i know its bad, i know it'll just erode my ability to pursue and maintain a relationship, but im just so lonely

 

[saintleftbygod]

Most people now adays arent worth going after romantically, and if your not good-looking alone or short its basiclly imposible

 

[kouna]

I had a great relationship with my ex-wife, we did everything together,both the hard and the fun and I also had great relationship with her family. Had great time with her nieces and nephews.
She divorced me because we had a bad week of arguing and fighting, drugs (ket) had it's role too, it made me very aggressive on a few occasions and I hit her, also had a big argument with my family and my brother, I hit my brother and that lead me to prison for a few. days and the psych ward for about a month.
She was afraid that this would be permanent.

I think it was a bad decision overall. I feel that now both of us, being at our mid 40s, romantic life is tough and we are both very weird ppl, we don't fit easily with others.

I miss her, I wish we were still together!

 

[hiding the roses]

Love isnt hard to come across, its just the act of loving through pain. Many people dont understand what another person may go through, so instead of sticking by, they would choose cheap pleasures and one night stands. Its an awful world, but I hope you find someone wonderful as many people could :3

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

Love isnt hard to come across, its just the act of loving through pain. Many people dont understand what another person may go through, so instead of sticking by, they would choose cheap pleasures and one night stands. Its an awful world, but I hope you find someone wonderful as many people could :3

thats just the thing. i dont know if im capable of loving someone like that. ive spent so much time online looking at romance stories and relationship memes and all the hopeless romantic lovey dovey fluffy sinde of things that i dont know if i can maintain an actual relationship in real life. the idealized version of love that ive created in my head isnt the same love in real life where you live with someone and come to understand them and make compromises and stick together through tough times

 

[hiding the roses]

thats just the thing. i dont know if im capable of loving someone like that. ive spent so much time online looking at romance stories and relationship memes and all the hopeless romantic lovey dovey fluffy sinde of things that i dont know if i can maintain an actual relationship in real life. the idealized version of love that ive created in my head isnt the same love in real life where you live with someone and come to understand them and make compromises and stick together through tough times

and thats fine, idealized love is quite similar in nature to real love. atleast in my eyes. i do have bpd though, so it might be a bit bias. love comes in many forms, and sometimes its the overwhelming major idealized "movie" like type, and ive experienced it before! i hope u could too, even if reciprocation isnt on the table. unconditional love from an animal (cat, dog, etc) maybe too!

forgot to reply oopsie :3

 

[Macedonian1987]

I'm craving romantic intimacy from someone too, but not here in this world and under such circumstances. I want to have a romantic intimacy with someone while I'm in a healthy pain-free body, and a non-autistic brain that is not feeling sad all the time.

 

[Afterglow]

I understand this a lot. I even made a post similar a while back.

Wanting something real like that, not just temporary, and eventually realising it's impossible is probably one of my biggest reasons for choosing to die.

For me, I want that kind of closeness too, that kind of mutual love with someone, but I don't trust myself with it. Everytime I've had that opportunity, I end up ruining it or hurting the other person just by being the way I am. I don't trust myself not to bring the other person down with me, and I don't want to be dependent on someone like that again. It just feels wrong to do that to someone.

And to add to it, I'm not someone people would naturally choose anyways based on looks. So the only way I even have a chance is starting the relationship online, where things are extremely isolating and depressing because I can't have what I physically need.

It's a tough world.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Sorry, what's a manwh*re? that's a new one. Also I think the internet is quite literally influencing you in a negative way when it comes to relationships, it also doesn't help that you then goon and get cheap pleasures, you're not going to get the relationship you describe when being like that because you're gonna view women/men as objects, you're training your mind in a pavlovian manner, imo.

I'm just telling you now because I saw a lot of men online say that they want these warm romantic relationships and how lonely they are and then they go jack off to violent pornography. This is an oxymoron to their initial wish.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

Sorry, what's a manwh*re? that's a new one.

exactly what it means. a man who's a whore. basically just a guy who sleeps around and fucks a ton of women. A whore, who is also a man.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

exactly what it means. a man who's a whore. basically just a guy who sleeps around and fucks a ton of women. A whore, who is also a man.

It doesn't exactly mean that from where I'm looking at it, if we take it literally it would mean that you are in the prostitution industry and I thought there was a new gendered term which I didn't know this is why I asked.

Also try to type "has sex with" and not "fucks", thanks.

 

[klantedklaw]

Me too, I disagree what others say though, I'm attractive and I'm not short

Most people now adays arent worth going after romantically, and if your not good-looking alone or short its basiclly imposible

Sure it has its part to play but if you're depressed, isolated and are Neurodivergent enough your options to date others becomes extremely thin. Even if you make a connection with someone you still have your mental illnesses in the mix - making sustaining a relationship difficult. Not to mention your partner is also likely going to be neurodivergent so their issues come into the relationship too.

The only reason I'm depressed is because I lack intimacy. I grew up in a very abusive household and I have felt completely unloved my entire life. I hate that I can't have what others take for granted so easily. I hate that I'm a good person yet I'm treated like this. I hate seeing bad people in relationships hurting others.

It doesn't exactly mean that from where I'm looking at it, if we take it literally it would mean that you are in the prostitution industry and I thought there was a new gendered term which I didn't know this is why I asked.

Also try to type "has sex with" and not "fucks", thanks.

"Sex" would insinuate some sort of deep emotional connection someone values deeply, if you're fucking hundreds of women you clearly don't value them emotionally