Almost there. This is what I've worked out…
Took a good five months of intensive study and online presence. Not to mention almost every last dollar I have. Go big to go home.!
the ingredients and cooking time…
Meto plus Zofran night before, morning of, double dose, an hour prior.
2 g bromazolam
40 mg clonazepam
30 mg Xanax
Ground and placed an empty cup. Will add water/Kool-Aid. Used to chase…
600 mg propranolol
14 g Carisoprodoll
More Zofran
(possibly going to fill extended release capsules with some of the "zenes"
500 mg… Iso or proto (paid for shipping of samples from China) not sure exactly what it is. Lol.
Followed by another bottle, filled with ground…
2 g oxycodone (and whatever else they put in the pill press) from different vendors.
Possibly more "zenes" as long as the taste is not too bitter. And if so, I will continue to chase it with the first mixture.
Just hoping that when I vomit, I'm able to keep enough in my bloodstream to go into respiratory failure. And with the propranolol i'm hoping my heart will slow down and eventually stop pumping while I am unconscious. If I haven't already choked on my vomit.
Since I have to be outside, I'm hoping this method will not take longer than three hours for my heart to stop. I will have my MOLST/Living will on me, probably a few. It needs to be visible before anyone tries to Narcan me.
Only problem is it's in an area where there are lots of dog walkers. So it needs to be fairly late. Not on a Friday or Saturday night. I'm thinking maybe even on a holiday. Like Thanksgiving. Where there are less people out and fewer first responders. Looking at camouflage ponchos/fleece pull overs. Needs to be sheen free so if headlights or a flashlight shines through, there's no reflection. Unfortunately, I've been stuck at a residential facility. And I don't wanna take my evening meds before I do this in case of any interactions. And I will be asking them to add the liquid to the bottles containing the ground up ingredients. Going to have to be real slick, So I'm gonna have to come up with a lie, sneak out of here and if I'm not back by certain time they'll start ringing alarm bells. And I live very close to a large hospital. There are a lot of things working against me.
Where I am only a matter of time before I'm found. So I'm not worried about ever being seen. It's a magic four hour window I'm looking for. Why does everyone have a fucking dog nowadays? I'm a dog lover, but if I fail to ctb because of a canine… all dogs can go to hell lol
It's important that there's no snow on the ground. So in a sense, it's a race against Time. For many reasons to race against Time. But if I can't make this work in the closing window… I'll have to wait until March or April. And by that point, I may not have the ability to do so. The quality of life to be over. I'm trying to avert, a disaster. I'm already living a disaster which most people don't understand how I can wake up and live my day without breaking down. I don't know either. But I know that if I let things get any worse, my ctb will be from refusal to eat… and watch them stick feeding tube in. FML.
Originally I was going with the SN method but decided against it due to my circumstance and its limitation's.
I still have 50 g sn and I will have leftover antiemetics, benzos, pain meds, propananol and Carisoprodoll. I'm simply trying to recycle reduce and reuse. Would be a shame to throw these out. If I ended up sending it to somebody, it would be for their collection. Not to be used. Message me.
FYI… If there hasn't been a post from me for a couple months, then it worked
Took a good five months of intensive study and online presence. Not to mention almost every last dollar I have. Go big to go home.!
the ingredients and cooking time…
Meto plus Zofran night before, morning of, double dose, an hour prior.
2 g bromazolam
40 mg clonazepam
30 mg Xanax
Ground and placed an empty cup. Will add water/Kool-Aid. Used to chase…
600 mg propranolol
14 g Carisoprodoll
More Zofran
(possibly going to fill extended release capsules with some of the "zenes"
500 mg… Iso or proto (paid for shipping of samples from China) not sure exactly what it is. Lol.
Followed by another bottle, filled with ground…
2 g oxycodone (and whatever else they put in the pill press) from different vendors.
Possibly more "zenes" as long as the taste is not too bitter. And if so, I will continue to chase it with the first mixture.
Just hoping that when I vomit, I'm able to keep enough in my bloodstream to go into respiratory failure. And with the propranolol i'm hoping my heart will slow down and eventually stop pumping while I am unconscious. If I haven't already choked on my vomit.
Since I have to be outside, I'm hoping this method will not take longer than three hours for my heart to stop. I will have my MOLST/Living will on me, probably a few. It needs to be visible before anyone tries to Narcan me.
Only problem is it's in an area where there are lots of dog walkers. So it needs to be fairly late. Not on a Friday or Saturday night. I'm thinking maybe even on a holiday. Like Thanksgiving. Where there are less people out and fewer first responders. Looking at camouflage ponchos/fleece pull overs. Needs to be sheen free so if headlights or a flashlight shines through, there's no reflection. Unfortunately, I've been stuck at a residential facility. And I don't wanna take my evening meds before I do this in case of any interactions. And I will be asking them to add the liquid to the bottles containing the ground up ingredients. Going to have to be real slick, So I'm gonna have to come up with a lie, sneak out of here and if I'm not back by certain time they'll start ringing alarm bells. And I live very close to a large hospital. There are a lot of things working against me.
Where I am only a matter of time before I'm found. So I'm not worried about ever being seen. It's a magic four hour window I'm looking for. Why does everyone have a fucking dog nowadays? I'm a dog lover, but if I fail to ctb because of a canine… all dogs can go to hell lol
It's important that there's no snow on the ground. So in a sense, it's a race against Time. For many reasons to race against Time. But if I can't make this work in the closing window… I'll have to wait until March or April. And by that point, I may not have the ability to do so. The quality of life to be over. I'm trying to avert, a disaster. I'm already living a disaster which most people don't understand how I can wake up and live my day without breaking down. I don't know either. But I know that if I let things get any worse, my ctb will be from refusal to eat… and watch them stick feeding tube in. FML.
Originally I was going with the SN method but decided against it due to my circumstance and its limitation's.
I still have 50 g sn and I will have leftover antiemetics, benzos, pain meds, propananol and Carisoprodoll. I'm simply trying to recycle reduce and reuse. Would be a shame to throw these out. If I ended up sending it to somebody, it would be for their collection. Not to be used. Message me.
FYI… If there hasn't been a post from me for a couple months, then it worked
