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Kimlett

Kimlett

Student
Jan 7, 2024
147
I'm about to lose everything. Last year I quit my office job because I couldn't stand it anymore. I managed to receive unemployment compensation but it will end in a few months. I'm desperately looking for another job. I know I'm gonna hate it as much as the previous one, but it is what it is.

If I don't get a job, I will lose my apartment (I live alone) and go back to my parents'. I love them but I hate the idea of losing my freedom at 32 yo. Besides, I won't be able to find an affordable apartment for myself again in this economy, I would have to share.

So there's no good ending. I did this to myself. I shouldn't have quit my job. I hate life. I want to ctb more than ever but I have to keep living for my loved ones.

I don't know why I post this, maybe looking for some encouraging words. Thanks for reading.
 
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T

thehorizons

Member
Mar 25, 2026
86
I'm about to lose everything. Last year I quit my office job because I couldn't stand it anymore. I managed to receive unemployment compensation but it will end in a few months. I'm desperately looking for another job. I know I'm gonna hate it as much as the previous one, but it is what it is.

If I don't get a job, I will lose my apartment (I live alone) and go back to my parents'. I love them but I hate the idea of losing my freedom at 32 yo. Besides, I won't be able to find an affordable apartment for myself again in this economy, I would have to share.

So there's no good ending. I did this to myself. I shouldn't have quit my job. I hate life. I want to ctb more than ever but I have to keep living for my loved ones.

I don't know why I post this, maybe looking for some encouraging words. Thanks for reading.
I'm in a similar position as yours, but I have oral cancer and post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) as well (this means if my oral cancer advances I run the risk of exacerbating my PAWS syndrome if I get surgery due to anesthesia). I know that you're in a tough position, but there are different levels of hell. I'm in a lower level than you if that's any consolation. I just have it on my lip (and I'll have an official diagnosis soon to confirm it) and I'm pretty sure it's not a skin-cancer thing but an oral-cancer thing since I smoked a lot of shisha when I was a teenager and kept the smoke in mouth to blow rings, but even though I'm in a shit place there are probably people in a worse of position than I am. Some might even have a tumour on their tongue and PAWS or some might have total rhinectomy and PAWS. I know somewhere in the world there definitely has be someone else in a similar position or worse.

I'm just grateful for everyday right now until I get the diagnosis. I honestly don't know what I'll do afterwards. Maybe, I'll CTB. Or, maybe, I'll live a bit longer and then when the cancer advances so much I could get MAID in Canada or VAD in Switzerland (both of which are going to be pain since I need to hop on a flight and get the logistics right).

What I'm trying to say is if your problem is a mental thing, you can work it out. Arguably, everything is a mental thing even if it's physical, but as of late I learned there are mental problems and there are physical problems (e.g. diseases, disabilities). I had a lot of mental problems (e.g. out of work, being single) in the past that I got out of, but having illnesses is a different ballgame to me that makes me want to CTB.
 
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Snailey

Snailey

Member
Jan 25, 2026
44
I had to move back in with my parents and im almost 30. It sucks, im not gonna lie, it really sucks to lose your freedom. But sometimes you need a refresher. I was able to save up money while living with my parents again and arguably put me in a better place than when I was living pay cheque to pay cheque. It was way less stressful than before.

And living with your parents isnt as embarrassing as it used to be. Everyone knows the economy is in the shitter, I have friends older than me who still lives at home, and they're saving so much money.
 

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