I’m a people pleaser and need to stop. Any ideas how to get better?

[PrincessPure]

I was roommates with this friend of mine for 2 months and she was the worst roommate you could imagine. Didn't flush the toilet properly, never once took out the trash in 2 months, didn't move one bit to clean anything when we were giving the house back to the landlord.
I didn't say one thing in those 2 months despite feeling pure torture. I thought I will just go back to our hometown from the traineeship and act like she was never a friend.
After we went back tho she occasionally invited me over to hangout and I never said no despite not liking her. I just wanted both of us to phase out of the friendship slowly not a dramatic breakup. To the point that was hurtful to my soul.

and for what? For her to end the friendship in the worst way possible, and block me from every social media this week. Exactly what I was trying to avoid in the first place. And now she doesn't even have the slightest idea that I was done with her first. It's so sad how heartless and selfish people are. And I think I'm a people pleaser and that is a problem.

 

[90377lethe]

Practice saying "no" to people. Practice speaking up when something bothers you. Practice asking for things you want.

Start with small things that aren't very important.

Learn to become comfortable with other people's disappointment, annoyance, or being mildly inconvenienced. They will be fine if you tell them no. Most will get over it quickly.

 

[timf]

If you would like to say "no", but feel you can't, you can start with, "Let me think about it", "I am not sure, I need some time", or "That's interesting, I have to give that some consideration". Being skeptical or unpersuaded allows some time to think of reasons why to decline.

Not right for me.
Not the right time
Maybe in the future
Too busy

One thing to keep in mind, the harder someone pushes you, the less they are entitled to you being polite.