Venting I'm a failure. Nothing but a failure. I spend all my time failing and don't do anything else.

[fleetingnight]

To clarify, everything in second person POV is still directed at myself

For crying out fucking loud, what am I doing anymore? Why am I not dead? What's the point of this? "Not yet, you have work to get done," as if that makes me magically able to do it??? If I was capable of getting my work done, maybe I wouldn't be here in the first place!

It's not hard work! It's not fucking brain cancer! To stupid to write an email, moron? To fucking pathetic to talk to your friends? To fucking useless to fold your fucking laundry? If I can't even do that, how will I ever do anything? Why am I fucking HERE???

I need to end it! End it, dumbass!! End it! End it! Let it be over! Let my worthlessness be over! All I'm doing is wasting time! I'm wasting everyone's time!!! Fucking end it already!!!

 

[strawberry_lemons]

its not your fault, you don't control your brain. Everyone has something to offer, i bet you are no exception. cleaning and talking is hard when it feels like your brain is against itself. i wont tell you not to kill yourself but i will tell you to remember the good im sure you have.

 

[fleetingnight]

its not your fault, you don't control your brain. Everyone has something to offer, i bet you are no exception. cleaning and talking is hard when it feels like your brain is against itself.

Thank you. I know it's hard because of everything else happening to me, but I'm so jealous of people who can put up a front and seem fine and capable. I don't think they have good lives, I know they're all suffering a lot to hide their pain, but I still wish I could do the same, I want/deserve to suffer a bit anyways