• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3boei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

N

nexus2049

Member
Apr 19, 2024
12
I am just survive and not living in this world. After the first attempt 10 years ago, I have not been actively try anything for like 9 years. But things are not getting better, even if I try. The job market is so bad and I am likely be unemployed after graduation. I am not getting better I guess. Now I am kinda just dump money on lottery like at least $40 a week. I know it is impractical to win.

This leads to think, if I win by miracle. Will I still do CBT later on? Is all my issue a low self-esteem and lack of achievement and excitement, or no matter how much money I have, I will just decide CBT in 5 years or so.

Do you think if you win like 100 million dollars, will things work out for you?
My main problem is financial. Money isn't everything but it solves the problem of not having money. Which helps with many other things.
 
d-tea

d-tea

Member
Apr 7, 2024
21
I think it would just delay the inevitable a bit. Hedonism is fun, but not fulfilling
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim
L

lifewasawillowtv

You’re losing me
Nov 12, 2023
209
Yes, no amount of money is going to fix my brain. I'll still be me. However I'd be able to execute it in the way I want, fly away somewhere nice and ctb there.
 
S

silence ends

Student
Jan 10, 2023
106
I'd waste some of the money on drugs and help few close ones i got left but eventually yes i still would ctb afterall.

But lottery win would buy few more years for me definately
 
Sad_Autistic_boy_101

Sad_Autistic_boy_101

When I die, you'll love me.
Nov 19, 2019
441
If I won a high amount then I don't think I would CTB. I could use the money to actually buy myself a place to live with live in carers. It would already solve my problems of having to live at home with toxic parents currently and the inability to get funding for support as disability services have no funding. These are two big motives in me wanting to CTB at the moment. I'd also use the money to get me the right mental health support for my BPD. I don't get why things that disabled people need are still so inaccessible.
 
girlsboysthems

girlsboysthems

no i dont have a gun
Dec 19, 2022
374
probably yeah, it might just postpone it for a whille.
 
Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
900
No bc I no wanna get more than 70, but might postphone my ctb if I can pay myself free from my situation that makes my ocd no good. I no think so though so I still ctb soon.
 
hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,230
Yes, without hesitation. This world is cruel and horrible it doesnt matter if you got a stupid money or not. Life is hell regardless. I could be in Dubai right now and i would still choose to jump off the bridge
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim and 4am
Little_Suzy

Little_Suzy

Amphibious
May 1, 2023
769
Winning $100 million is more financially fulfilling than being comfortable.

Money can't buy happiness, but who gives a damn?

Why should I die when I have $100 million in my pocket? Happy to spend every million! :pfff:
 
UmbraDweller

UmbraDweller

ᅠᅠ
Sep 15, 2023
42
It would definitely make me distracted for quite some time. I could just buy myself some material shits to cope with, enjoy my life and don't worry about anything. Eventually though I would become miserable again because life is still same unecessary suffering and I hate it here. So yes.
 
J

J&L383

Experienced
Jul 18, 2023
252
I used to buy lottery tickets thinking that it would make a difference. But then I stopped. If I did win a substantial amount I would donate it somewhere important, and then still CTB, but perhaps in a more elegant way. Like crashing my million dollar McLaren F1 into a brick wall. (Okay, not really, just fantasizing).
 
pilotviolin

pilotviolin

Student
Jan 27, 2024
159
i dont think id want to live to see old age, but 100 million allows you to travel and try many new things, as well as not have to work and support family, so i would try make the most of it. but if i still dont care then its ctb and either way donating the rest of the money after im dead.
 
  • Like
Reactions: usernamenoonecares
anonymousbookreader

anonymousbookreader

Member
Apr 5, 2024
49
I'd just Ctb later. Money would solve or improve most of my problems. But I'm also aware that I'd never actually want to live. I know I'm destined to die by suicide so it's still going to happen. I wouldn't live to old age. I'd still die very young.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
Let's say you theoretically won £1,000,000 or €1,000,000 - not the silly jackpot figures (1 in 128,000,000 odds which are… beyond pathetic). At least with the smaller amount it halves those odds but let's say you got that.

You can't stay in an expensive country - so UK not chance of buying a place to be on your own - even flats can go for £450,000 plus the stamp duty, solicitors, etc and then you've got hefty annual service charges and insurance to pay for eternity.

I'd go to Spain and try and get a 1/2 bedroom flat (max would be around €280,000). Buy a cheap car outright to do errands in and that solves your own space/privacy without blowing the load.

Here's the biggest problem. Let's say you have a void (a partner left after years) - money ain't doing SHIT to resolve that. And copes like buying sex or other stuff just isn't for everyone (I'd hate that shit) and even if you did - it's just going to blacken you even more.

So you've got the time, own place and you can do your errands and go to the sanctuary and help out (if you want). Would it be better than your current situation? Definitely. Does it change your autistic, neurodivergent brain? NOPE.

It's really a case of it would have to happen to see how things would change - anxiety would go down due to a roof over your head and money problems and no you couldn't go on lavash spending sprees as the money won't last.

It's so ironic that the only way to have your own place nowadays is to either win the lottery or get inheritance/family money. I don't know anyone in the UK who managed to buy a place without their parents chipping in somehow - some even got high placing jobs due to nepotism. It's a fucking mess.

And no I wouldn't give away any large amounts - this draws WAY too much attention to you - if it was say €1,000 and you did it very rarely then you don't draw attention. If you make a BIG donation of €10,000 you have a problem (money laundering rules come into play) and people will talk about you - you just put a target on your head. It's horrible to do but if someone is getting annoying and asking questions you just say you work in finance or something plausible or don't answer at all.
 
sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,666
Yes, without hesitation. This world is cruel and horrible it doesnt matter if you got a stupid money or not. Life is hell regardless. I could be in Dubai right now and i would still choose to jump off the bridge
I was supposed to go to Dubai last spring, but didn't go. I regret missing out on it
 
Last edited:
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
I was supposed to go to Dubai last year, but didn't go. I regret missing out on it
Dubai is the most vapid, empty, soul crushing shit hole. If you went you'd experience it.

Influencers everywhere, everything is fake and just pummelled with money, all those buildings and infrastructure is built by pretty much slaves.

The place is a grade A cunt hole. I've never been but I've seen the people that do go - you can tell by the type (narcissists, sociopaths, etc).

Edit; it's basically Disney world (the void) but for adults.
 
sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,666
Dubai is the most vapid, empty, soul crushing shit hole. If you went you'd experience it.

Influencers everywhere, everything is fake and just pummelled with money, all those buildings and infrastructure is built by pretty much slaves.

The place is a grade A cunt hole. I've never been but I've seen the people that do go - you can tell by the type (narcissists, sociopaths, etc).
I was also supposed to go to Doha and Abu Dhabi. I went to Riyadh last summer though
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
I was also supposed to go to Doha and Abu Dhabi. I went to Riyadh last summer though
All those countries are complete hypocrisy and built by imported slaves (yes watch a few documentaries on how these "workers" are paid and meant to live). It's way worse than minimum wage UK/USA or neet - way way worse.

But as I've said in numerous other posts - you have money and resources you can do whatever the fuxk you want - even evil shit with younger people. Those parts of the world and their "royal families" are just as perverse and fucked up and out western countries - they just behead people or kill them sloppily.
 
Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
511
II will try to bribe a veterinary doctor to euthanize me
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
II will try to bribe a veterinary doctor to euthanize me
Have you looked at the data on how many vets are depressed and end themselves? It's high. They'd probably do themselves first and leave you to your own devices lol. I did work experience in a vet - it's nice to help animals but the other stuff is …. Well… yeah I haven't got it in me.
 
Nikitatos

Nikitatos

Student
Apr 10, 2024
122
I've met lottery winners before. They're rich and happy. All those articles saying lottery winners lose their money and aren't happy aren't true. They're meant to console the 99.999999% that don't win.

I'm sure there have been a few brain dead recknecks that have blown through everything, but that's tough to do. The movie Brewster's Millions was about a guy trying to spend a ton of money and have nothing to show for it. It's not easy. Even if you overpay for luxury house, you still have the house.

Other than gambling, how do you spend $100 million and have nothing to show for it?

In fact, the opposite is true. There are studies showing the effects of people getting large sums of money. For poor people, it makes them MUCH happier. For middle class people, it makes them slightly happier. For rich people, it has no effect.

The money itself doesn't make you happy. The life it allows you to live can.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: sserafim
loslassen

loslassen

call me June
Dec 8, 2023
125
unfortunately big amounts of money just don't seem big enough to promise a future anymore, just fix your past. So I'd give it to my family to pay off dept, buy myself some good food and see if I can go through with ctb sooner.
 
H

hopeless08

Arcanist
Dec 8, 2023
458
somebody would probably kill me for that money before I could even do it myself lmao.

I don't know what I'd do with that much money anyway. maybe, maybe not. it's hard to say. I am afraid of ending up homeless one day so it would be nice to have money to fall back on.
I see where you're coming from in a way.
My depression keeps me from being able to work. It literally cripples me .I have some money saved up but it's not going to last very long so I do have that added pressure, being worried about running out of money before im 100% ready to ctb. So it will give me some peace of mind, buying me some extra time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sickgirlzis
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
I've met lottery winners before. They're rich and happy. All those articles saying lottery winners lose their money and aren't happy aren't true. They're meant to console the 99.999999% that don't win.

I'm sure there have been a few brain dead recknecks that have blown through everything, but that's tough to do. The movie Brewster's Millions was about a guy trying to spend a ton of money and have nothing to show for it. It's not easy. Even if you overpay for luxury house, you still have the house.

Other than gambling, how do you spend $100 million and have nothing to show for it?

In fact, the opposite is true. There are studies showing the effects of people getting large sums of money. For poor people, it makes them MUCH happier. For middle class people, it makes them slightly happier. For rich people, it has no effect.

The money itself doesn't make you happy. The life it allows you to live can.
Yeah that's not the case for UK winners. Ranging from £1,000,000 up to £7,000,000 the majority of them:

Partners break up
Lavish spending spree and money dries up within a year/years
End up being hounded by people and/or charities.

The giving types end up being sick of the constant harassment and say no to everyone or go mad.
The poorer ones have no idea how to manage money so buy the lavish cars (they have no idea how much the insurance is per year and pay the price), same goes for property - buy a house but it needs to be maintained, council tax band will be the most expensive, etc.
The only ones that seem to be out of the news are the ones that already have money and are somewhat business inclined. It's basically a fund that they can do whatever they want with. Oh and lottery winners in the UK isn't taxed at all unlike the US. All that money and nearly half goes to the government - lmao clown world - no wonder they want people to keep playing and go into debt.
 
Yuki_03

Yuki_03

I really can't take it
Aug 9, 2023
384
i would get my prefered method and then have the time of my life and die.
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
This is EXACTLY what I've always thought I would do.
I said something like this a few weeks ago. Not a farm but land and make an animal sanctuary. Nature reserve involves cunt people so a definite no no. With a sanctuary you can take in animals and look after them so they aren't abused and treated like shit by dumbass humans. Unfortunately you would need at least two to four other people to help maintain, volunteer and work to keep things running especially if you have multiple species like birds, mammals and reptiles.

Edit: and unfortunately £1m or €1m wouldn't be enough. Not with land prices, surveyors, councils, paperwork and all that shit. 3 bedroom houses are £1m plus in the UK. Spains system is so messed up and corrupt it would be hard to figure out (everything is back handers over there).
 
  • Like
Reactions: BluesRunTheGame
BluesRunTheGame

BluesRunTheGame

Blackpilled
Dec 15, 2020
1,715
I said something like this a few weeks ago. Not a farm but land and make an animal sanctuary. Nature reserve involves cunt people so a definite no no. With a sanctuary you can take in animals and look after them so they aren't abused and treated like shit by dumbass humans. Unfortunately you would need at least two to four other people to help maintain, volunteer and work to keep things running especially if you have multiple species like birds, mammals and reptiles.
I see. For me a nature reserve because I'm a birder. I would open some to the public but not all lol.
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,029
I see. For me a nature reserve because I'm a birder. I would open some to the public but not all lol.
Don't. The sanctuary I go to lost two birds (smaller species) - why? Screaming children. They died of stress. Spiteful mutants are like this. Their parents are also full on cunts that shouldn't be spawning these awful creatures.

Make a sanctuary and have an aviary or two and group the larger exotic birds (cockatoos, greys, macaws, etc) and have another for smaller ones likes cockatiels, lorikeets, etc.

I've not really dealt with raptor birds but I prefer cockatoos the most - they are goofy and really smart.
 

Similar threads

U
Replies
2
Views
145
Suicide Discussion
willitpass
willitpass
N
Replies
17
Views
324
Suicide Discussion
karmaisabitch
karmaisabitch
terra.nuvo
Replies
9
Views
231
Recovery
Linda
Linda