if you were to choose between being abused —

[notevenhere]

if you were to choose between two options
1.) being microabused or is micro to you because you developed a thick skin, feeling not included and ignored, financial abuse where you fork over money despite being jobless, unable to see outside because you have to pay to do that and you barely make enough to pay for the rent bill your mother obligatory makes you pay despite preventing you from attending job fairs bc the online market is saturated right now.

or

2.) you somehow saved a thousand dollars, can secretly escape on the day of your 30th birthday but you only have your clothes, your books, your method of CTB, your partner finally spending your birthday with you, the freedom, but this staycation can only afford you 10 days.

would you choose option A because you can use the AC watch your life go well into your 40s and 50s until you die on isolation but you have your pc and internet until your pc breaks down, of course, which is overtime happening but you can sleep all day and game all night and eat leftovers once a day your mom throws aside for the dogs because it's edible.

or

option b, total fucking freedom but you know after 10 days you can't survive a place without air conditioning and you're gonna be fucked if you can't pay rent and you're infantalized that you have social anxiety and agoraphobia and you don't know how to even do laundry.

 

[khora]

Honestly anything is better than rotting in isolation; it's easy to put the blind on and accept what's in front of you while the back of your head knows it isn't normal. Seeking any measure of 'escape' and putting it off until the last minute..
You'd realize pretty soon how alone you are; how small the world really is; and that your memories are remnants of the 'past' and the present.
And that'll hurt more than anything you've ever experienced in your life.
It's not fun figuring out the breathing room to this was all short lived until you're sinking. It'll give you one of the harshest exemplary of nihilism first hand without your knowing.

 

[To_bareTo_tear]

These are like 4 options if I take exclusively how you separated things. Gonna assume starting from here

would you choose option A because you can use the AC watch your life go well into your 40s and 50s until you die on isolation but you have your pc and internet until your pc breaks down, of course, which is overtime happening but you can sleep all day and game all night and eat leftovers once a day your mom throws aside for the dogs because it's edible.

or

option b, total fucking freedom but you know after 10 days you can't survive a place without air conditioning and you're gonna be fucked if you can't pay rent and you're infantalized that you have social anxiety and agoraphobia and you don't know how to even do laundry.

Is elaborating on

1.) being microabused or is micro to you because you developed a thick skin, feeling not included and ignored, financial abuse where you fork over money despite being jobless, unable to see outside because you have to pay to do that and you barely make enough to pay for the rent bill your mother obligatory makes you pay despite preventing you from attending job fairs bc the online market is saturated right now.

or

2.) you somehow saved a thousand dollars, can secretly escape on the day of your 30th birthday but you only have your clothes, your books, your method of CTB, your partner finally spending your birthday with you, the freedom, but this staycation can only afford you 10 days.

Option 1 is realistic most people need comfort more than they think, it's why reporting sa is hard or leaving abusive situations are hard it's not just a matter of breaking the status quo, it's also what you put on line, relationships with family for better or worse tend to be inescapable even if you may be "free" when you reach 18 there's still so much paper work and considerations that goes into whether you can do option 2 of getting a place to stay for much less acquire the money for it. But because it's not a permanent plan I still consider option 2 to be the most worth it one to go for, any step even little ones like that can be the motivation of leaving your family and becoming more independent. That's purely from my own experiences though as someone who has tried to move away from my family many times I found that any moment of freedom from them made me feel like I could truly function on my own. The fact that someone will also be there probably also makes it a bit more bearable.

Sorry if I kinda took this like an advice session thats just how I tried to make sense of the question.