murderatruemorgue
Member
- Feb 17, 2024
- 43
I have a consultation for neurosurgery for a Type 1 Chiari Malformation next Tuesday. This is the last chance before I'm out.
It's taken a year to get to this point. I've seen six (seven?? IDEK anymore) different neurologists, and the only reason I think this MIGHT go differently is this neurosurgeon is a Chiari Malformation specialist (only one in the state actually.) The fact that he agreed to meet me is a good sign, but it's no guarantee he won't just brush me off.
If this is yet another dead end, that's it. I'm way past my limit of what I thought I'd be willing to endure. I have already lost so much cognitive functioning between verbal recall, working memory, periodic aphasia, and short term memory loss. Not to mention the ataxia, myoclonus, vertigo... that doesn't even include the pain I've been dealing with for 5+ years now or the chronic malnourishment I've dealt with for 2+years from struggling to keep down food. Or losing my career, my family, my spouse. This is too goddamn much.
I don't even think anyone will notice for quite a while if I just don't come back from the appointment if it goes wrong.
I've done my fair share of research of methods for a while now, but I think it's time to figure out a concrete plan for Wednesday (or later in the week) if need be.
It's taken a year to get to this point. I've seen six (seven?? IDEK anymore) different neurologists, and the only reason I think this MIGHT go differently is this neurosurgeon is a Chiari Malformation specialist (only one in the state actually.) The fact that he agreed to meet me is a good sign, but it's no guarantee he won't just brush me off.
If this is yet another dead end, that's it. I'm way past my limit of what I thought I'd be willing to endure. I have already lost so much cognitive functioning between verbal recall, working memory, periodic aphasia, and short term memory loss. Not to mention the ataxia, myoclonus, vertigo... that doesn't even include the pain I've been dealing with for 5+ years now or the chronic malnourishment I've dealt with for 2+years from struggling to keep down food. Or losing my career, my family, my spouse. This is too goddamn much.
I don't even think anyone will notice for quite a while if I just don't come back from the appointment if it goes wrong.
I've done my fair share of research of methods for a while now, but I think it's time to figure out a concrete plan for Wednesday (or later in the week) if need be.
