I have the strangest and most hellish condition happening to me. I cannot describe it, but it feels like I am detached from my body, the world and my 5 senses. I feel distant from everything and cut off in a way. I really think it was because I fell and hit my head on concrete when I was a child. I feel so abnormal and it is not a mental delusion or something like that. I have played contact sports my whole life, so I always got knocked around and stuff like that. I have had several brain scans and they all look normal which is so bothersome. I literally want to know what is wrong with my brain. I either traumatized it through physical injury or I was just born with an unfortunately messed up head. The thoughts and fear are definitely a huge form of suffering for me, but this brain thing is by far the worst and the root cause of the suffering. It is a 24/7 experience. It doesn't come and go like thoughts or emotions do. It is truly hell and I wish to be at peace. I cannot live a life with this sort of suffering. I cannot explain it in words and there is no medical evidence of anything.. That truly scares me! I have been searching for an answer for years. I cannot believe I thought medication, meditating and other lifestyle changes and mindset rewiring would help me. Those things are great for a general sense of well-being, but do not affect this brain dilemma in any way whatsoever. I wish it was just as simple as meditation or going to therapy and "healing my inner child"... Yikes. I feel so helpless.
Has anyone ever heard of anyone going through something similar? and believe me, I looked into depersonalization/derealization and stuff like that. It is not that.
Has anyone ever heard of anyone going through something similar? and believe me, I looked into depersonalization/derealization and stuff like that. It is not that.
