I would like to disappear forever from this senseless world

[ChamberOfEchoes]

I'm tired; I no longer have the will to live or to work. Even the smallest task feels like a burden, and if I know that the next day I'll have to meet someone, even just to talk about bills or let a technician into the house, I can't sleep. The very idea of interacting, of explaining, of being present exhausts me. I can't stand people, their lightness, their frenzy. I just want to disappear, to dissolve from this existence that constantly demands something from me actions, answers, participation for their happiness, for their madness. But I don't like any of it. I feel unwell. I have never found meaning in studying, in working, in building something, or in cultivating relationships. Nothing attracts me, nothing fulfills me. The body, to me, is just another prison, a wall of flesh separating me from absence, from silence. To transcend the body would be like escaping from Alcatraz. I can't go on anymore; I'm at the end of my strength, and all that remains is a weariness that never sleeps.

 

[itsgone2]

Even the smallest task feels like a burden,

100%. So tired of living like this

 

[_Gollum_]

You have articulated what I have not been able to articulate, but what I have felt for too long. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Greasyhair]

Mood. Is that what the kids say?

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish for the same, it's all I want, I always suffer so much as a result of being enslaved in this torturous, futile and deeply undesirable existence, all I want is to disappear from it all, I just wish for all to be forgotten like I never suffered at all.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'm tired; I no longer have the will to live or to work. Even the smallest task feels like a burden, and if I know that the next day I'll have to meet someone, even just to talk about bills or let a technician into the house, I can't sleep. The very idea of interacting, of explaining, of being present exhausts me. I can't stand people, their lightness, their frenzy. I just want to disappear, to dissolve from this existence that constantly demands something from me actions, answers, participation for their happiness, for their madness. But I don't like any of it. I feel unwell. I have never found meaning in studying, in working, in building something, or in cultivating relationships. Nothing attracts me, nothing fulfills me. The body, to me, is just another prison, a wall of flesh separating me from absence, from silence. To transcend the body would be like escaping from Alcatraz. I can't go on anymore; I'm at the end of my strength, and all that remains is a weariness that never sleeps.

This. Plus a book more of horrors .

I would never want to continue living or existing even a second more under any circumstances much less as a bag of cells or in this evil world

Boggles my mind that most humans want to continue living decades more in this terrible life risking extreme torture every day every second( for example brain stroke). And many wishing for immortality in an afterlife or reincarnation a quintilion to the quadrillion power years of suffering and beyond doing what remembering severe trauma

 

[Macedonian1987]

I'm tired; I no longer have the will to live or to work. Even the smallest task feels like a burden, and if I know that the next day I'll have to meet someone, even just to talk about bills or let a technician into the house, I can't sleep. The very idea of interacting, of explaining, of being present exhausts me. I can't stand people, their lightness, their frenzy. I just want to disappear, to dissolve from this existence that constantly demands something from me actions, answers, participation for their happiness, for their madness. But I don't like any of it. I feel unwell. I have never found meaning in studying, in working, in building something, or in cultivating relationships. Nothing attracts me, nothing fulfills me. The body, to me, is just another prison, a wall of flesh separating me from absence, from silence. To transcend the body would be like escaping from Alcatraz. I can't go on anymore; I'm at the end of my strength, and all that remains is a weariness that never sleeps.

I can relate to 90% of the things you said. I wasn't always like that. I enjoyed interacting with people, but my chronic pain coupled with my depression made me avoid most people. I too cannot stand to be in a room full of talking people. To see them all happy and conversing, while I drown in my sadness.