this sounds like an awful situation and my heart goes out to you. With that being said money isn't everything and whilst it'll Be a lot different for your children, deep down they would much prefer their mum to be happy. Do you have any family or friends that could help or you could at least confide in about how he makes you feel, does the country you're from offer financial support for a low income? I know it's easier said than done, how old are you children?
this sounds like an awful situation and my heart goes out to you. With that being said money isn't everything and whilst it'll Be a lot different for your children, deep down they would much prefer their mum to be happy. Do you have any family or friends that could help or you could at least confide in about how he makes you feel, does the country you're from offer financial support for a low income? I know it's easier said than done, how old are you children?
Panna
Enlightened
- Aug 31, 2020
- 1,006
I've always wanted a child, even if it was through a surrogate, the purpose, and joy that a child can give far outweighs the downsides. Being able to simply hang out on the back porch drinking lemonade we all made, or seeing them go on their first date, seeing them laugh and knowing that you helped to make a difference. Even if the child was adopted, what I wouldn't give to be able to experience it first hand.
It would not be a small difference in income. He has a good career. The children want for nothing financially. With my health I couldn't hold down a job that would be even a tenth of what he makes. Child support is a joke, and despite his income I wouldn't even get enough to live on since the more he has them the less he pays. The kids are 8, 6, and 2. I am mid 30s. The only way out is to die, and I can't do that to the kids. I have to just keep going till they are adults and then I can get a cheap studio apartment alone. Then I'll smoke weed and game all day until they have life away from me established enough for me to hang myself. The road ahead just feels long long and hopeless.
Even when they are hard children are an amazing thing. It's really all I wanted out of life. If I could do it over I would have gone to a sperm bank and just had one kid.
.
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Breadbfra
Specialist
- Jul 16, 2020
- 374
Sending hugs, you're one of the thoughest people I've ever met (and i haven't met you yet at all).
You're a wonderful person.
You're a wonderful person.
Sinkinshyp
Paragon
- Sep 7, 2020
- 947
having my older son at 20 literally saved my life. I spent my life being a single mom and would do it all over again. I had 25yrs 4 months 2 days of the most amazing love and happiness ever. He died in a car accident on his way to work. I'm lost and broken without my son.
@RoseyBird I'm so sorry you have to go through all that. I'm always here if you need to talk just shoot me a message.
i completely understand where you are coming from and completely respect you for staying around for your children, that is so brave and absolutely the right decision (in my eyes) to ensure your children have a happy childhood, that's a wonderful thing you are doing and you should be incredibly proud of yourself and one day they will understand that you did that just for them and they will be so proud of you & so grateful that there mum cared so much about them to put them before yourself. Are you from the UK? If so I definitely recommend going to No Limits and talk to them about your situation, they can tell you what benefits you would be entitled to claim, you would also be entitled to child support based of what he earns, they also help you fill out forms and give you vouchers to claim from a food bank. That is of course if you did decide to make the decision to leave but it wouldn't hurt getting advise and you could then see if you could financially support yourself and your children. I wish you all the luck in the world. You are a wonderful mother.
Thank you, honestly I hope they see it that way instead of being upset I wasn't enough. depressed parents are not great for children even if we offer love and support. I just know it's better than bringing suicide into their world and leaving them with just their dad.
They definitely will see it that way, and you never know by then you might have found your feet in this world and decide to stay, which I'm sure they would be even more grateful for, it's without a doubt better than bringing suicide, I think it would be hard to explain to a child that it wasn't there fault a parent committed suicide I wholeheartedly think you're making the right choice, try your best to not be so hard on yourself you're doing an amazing job
this is a problem about the UK and covid. people are wrongly informed. the rules haven't relaxed.they had relaxed them, it all started going wrong again and now the measures are back.
people think that covids just gone away and start acting normal....then it all comes back again.
xLosthopex
Tell my dogs I love them
- May 29, 2020
- 1,135
This sounds like a horrible situation for you to be in, I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you
You sound like a really great person and parent
You sound like a really great person and parent
It's sad really, and will likely keep happening. A couple months ago they were thinking of reopening school, but then Covid surged again. I was going to look for a job doing elder care since taking care of others is really the only thing I know how to do, but with Covid there is no way I can do that...
Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
That was a difficult read tbh rosey. I love to have fun and fool around but this is a bit different.
I wont try to insult your intelligence with ideas you have already thought of.
I agree your probably scrrewed but i bet your a wonderful mother and its admirable to hear of a person who feels they are doomed but sticks around for their chidren xx
I wont try to insult your intelligence with ideas you have already thought of.
I agree your probably scrrewed but i bet your a wonderful mother and its admirable to hear of a person who feels they are doomed but sticks around for their chidren xx
Thank you, a lot times joking around are here are the high point of the day. Laughs can go a long way. I appreciate you.
I don't know what its like where you are, but people were only sticking to the rules when it was lockdown. as soon as they slightly lifted the restrictions...people go to the beach , hang about in groups....... it just came right back. i don't particulary go anywhere much, but when i had been out i came home and said to my mum,no1 is taking any notice of the rules.
I will admit, i wasn't wearing a mask at one point.mainly because no1 else was( it isn't actually like me to follow others) plus i hardly went out at all, which isn't an excuse.
then i realised i needed to wear one, as much as want to CTB. i'm not willing to put my family's life at risk. especially my mom and sister who is a nurse looking after patients with the disease.
Well, as an American.... well that says it all. Between Trump and Covid I think the world sees this country for what it's become. I would move to the UK if it was feasible.
I know a woman who's mother is 90, she locked down right at the beginning and hasn't left her house since. Her daughter and son take her shopping once a week, leave it on the doorstep, she won't see anyone face to face, let anyone in the house and etc.
Somehow she's caught it and is in a really bad way.
So, how can we avoid it - it isn't going anywhere, you either get it and live, or get it and die, we can't hide forever.
In the UK I think the response is down to operation Cygnus - in 2016 where the NHS ran a simulation of a pandemic of this type and it was so shocking it was classified (leaked by the Guardian in Jun/Jul), it basically said the NHS would collapse within 2 to 4 weeks, there would be bodies piling up and etc.
Since the NHS is a political hot potatoe, we're being locked down for political reasons, not medical ones. Especially since the 2016 report said "we wouldn't have enough ventilators, we wouldn't have enough PPE, we wouldn't have enugh sanitiser or drugs, etc"
And when it's actually happened - we haven't got enough of those things, because no one bothered to plan ahead. Which of course you couldn't really - it could be today, or tomorrow, or in 20 years, or never.
But still....
Somehow she's caught it and is in a really bad way.
So, how can we avoid it - it isn't going anywhere, you either get it and live, or get it and die, we can't hide forever.
In the UK I think the response is down to operation Cygnus - in 2016 where the NHS ran a simulation of a pandemic of this type and it was so shocking it was classified (leaked by the Guardian in Jun/Jul), it basically said the NHS would collapse within 2 to 4 weeks, there would be bodies piling up and etc.
Since the NHS is a political hot potatoe, we're being locked down for political reasons, not medical ones. Especially since the 2016 report said "we wouldn't have enough ventilators, we wouldn't have enough PPE, we wouldn't have enugh sanitiser or drugs, etc"
And when it's actually happened - we haven't got enough of those things, because no one bothered to plan ahead. Which of course you couldn't really - it could be today, or tomorrow, or in 20 years, or never.
But still....
Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
Thanks rosey. I always felt that you understand your situation and dont need advice, so we may as well haveca giggle along the way.
I know you have auristic children. They are lucky because autistic people need very nurturing empathetic people around. That sounds like you.
Those children will probably have some genius qualities and im sure you will be involved in developing it x
Pretty much. No need to be shy with me I can take a joke even about worst things. Being able to laugh things off makes life more tolerable. It helps my daughter feel more socially accepted that we can laugh off some of them socially awkward things she'll do at times rather than get mad or stressed. You really can't take life too seriously with an autistic child.
her son and daughter might not be sticking to the rules??? the shopping itself is a potential source aswell. people pick things up and put them back all the time in shops, not everyone going to the shops does the whole hand sanitizer thing. my sister is a nurse, she comes in to contact with people who actually have it, CONSTANTLY she hasn't got it. she sticks to the rules thats why.
no one wants to stay in forever, but the stats clearly show when everyone was on lockdown the numbers went down.when the restrictions were lifted the numbers went back up. its the facts of whats going on!!
you do realise that the country doesn't have an endless supply of money to buy things because something 'might happen'.
we had just been through a recession and now this covid thing. i think people can realise NO country could cope with this pandemic. Its not just the NHS that is struggling to cope its the WHOLE WORLD
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Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
Im autistic and i dont envy you rosey. I bet its tough.
But i also bet that there is never a dull moment and you wouldn't change a thing.
We are very pure, very loyal, cute in our own way, original.
And annoying as fuck !
Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
I am. But cute doesnt work in our society tbh. Ugly is a lot better im afraid.
How do you know you david brent is in america rosey ?
Of course to all of that - but you're dealing with something so tiny it can carry on the wind for miles before going up your snuffler.
We'll never get rid of it even if we lock down forever, so if the 2 extreme options are:
1) Lock down forever and never come into contact with another soul again so it can't spread.
2) Throw caution to the wind and everyone just gets on and lots of people die.
And the 3rd option is: try lots of bits in the middle that inevitably end up with it going up and down, and in the meantime lots of people die, the economy is wrecked, no one has a job, and it's the end of the world anyway.
Then which can you choose?
1 + 3 are not possible.
2 is undesirable.
But only 2 is achievable. So it has to be 2. Who survives survives, who dies, dies. Otherwise we all die through attrition.
Plus the point is - even being super careful - it's so easy to get it anyway. If you can get it being super cautious, why not get it just carrying on?
Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
I dont wanna look like a pervert but again this point is spot on.
You called me david brent ages ago just from the photo?
Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
I haven't, but I'll be sure to check it out. Shows are great at passing time. Thank you for the suggestion.
Mm80
Enlightened
- May 15, 2019
- 1,604
Its got to be better than smoking weed and talking to parrots all the time rosey
