I wish my flashback would be ended soon.

[Blue Rose]

I have little memories in my past. I can't remember my past at all.

But sometimes, some awful memories emerge on my consciousness.
Then I started to feel guilty, shame, scared, sorrowful, etc. I could hardly hold my emotion and mind.

One day, I got a flashback. I vented so much about it, in the general chat room of SS without any thinking.
One member got angry, and this member blocked my account immediately.
I tried to apologise to this member, it was too late.

When I get a flashback, I feel myself is desperate, I become wanted to rely on people whom I like.
But I fear that whether I make them bothered or sick at once.
Anyway, If I am alone... only I can try is crying or crouching or hiding in somewhere.

I wish my flashback would be ended soon.
And I wish It would never happen again.

Thanks to all members, who always support and console me.

 

[summers]

@Blue Rose I'm a little confused... Is the nightmare of which you speak your memories, your intensity when venting/expressing yourself, or people's reaction to this?

 

[Blue Rose]

@Blue Rose I'm a little confused... Is the nightmare of which you speak your memories, your intensity when venting/expressing yourself, or people's reaction to this?

Sorry for my poor English. The source of my nightmare is my past memories. So, the word 'nightmare' is a kind of allegory.
Then the answer is my past memories, I will edit my thread properly immediately.

 

[summers]

@Blue Rose no apology needed. I can understand completely when bad memories come back from time to time. Unfortunately, they will never go away completely, but I found that time has dulled the edge for me, at least somewhat.

 

[Life_and_Death]

One day, I got a flashback. I vented so much about it, in the general chat room of SS without any thinking.
One member got angry, and this member blocked my account immediately.
I tried to apologise to this member, it was too late.

. If you ever need to vent feel free to pm. I won't block you I kind of don't understand why one would. Away from this site ok, one might not understand and possibly find it annoying. But on a suicide site? Isn't it almost kind of expected?