I understand how you feel , one my biggest schizo breakdowns and full commitment to CTB was when my family had to switch houses and my mom didin't allow me to bring my cats with me , my only friends ,the only ones that understands me , we moved to the only house alone , i was 17 at the time yet my mom said no , ever since then i have been committed to killing myself
i truly understand how you feel , losing a pet is like losing a best friend
i wish you peace and comfort <3