Venting I wish I had the courage.

[avemaria]

Everyday I come home to an empty, roach infested apartment that I work my ass off daily to pay for. No friends, no one. My mom is the only person I regularly talk to. I cry myself to sleep every night and have for the last 3 years. I wish I was brave enough to put an end to my suffering, but instead I tell myself that it'll somehow get better. That someday it'll be worth it, but I don't see that ever being possible for me. There is fundamentally something so deeply wrong with me and that will never change or be fixed no matter what I do.

 

[808sandheartbreak]

Honestly, I think it's braver to believe things will get better—especially when life feels like hell. Hoping, in the face of utter hopelessness, is maybe the bravest thing you can do imo.

Everyday I come home to an empty, roach infested apartment that I work my ass off daily to pay for. No friends, no one. My mom is the only person I regularly talk to. I cry myself to sleep every night and have for the last 3 years. I wish I was brave enough to put an end to my suffering, but instead I tell myself that it'll somehow get better. That someday it'll be worth it, but I don't see that ever being possible for me. There is fundamentally something so deeply wrong with me and that will never change or be fixed no matter what I do.

 

[FF777]

can you try finding some forums (even SaSu i guess?) or chat room places on the internet to try to find people to talk to?.. i've ended up meeting several people in real life that i initially met on the internet in chat rooms..

also, don't get mad at me but, if you clean your place and keep it organized and nice-looking then it helps you to live in it mentally easier..

i don't have any friends any more though and my family is all dying off and my mom was the last person i really communicated much with but she died 1.5 years ago and i'm planning to CTB here soon.. but i play video games like zelda and stuff to give me some thing to do.. and i still talk to some people in chat rooms on the internet a little bit..

 

[itsgone2]

It is a courageous act. I don't think pro lifers would agree. But it takes a lot of courage.

I wish the world were different and none of us were here. But also I admire those that have gone for the courage they displayed in their final moments.