Toothless Bunny
Can't revive the dead
- Jan 19, 2024
- 17
It has been pretty hard for me to cry since jan 2023 when my mom died, i never cried at her funeral which made ppl grossed out by me adding to that the fact that i didn't cry at my father's funeral either, lately i decided to just live my life forget about suicide and for months i was doing great, no i wasn't happy, i was at my lowest but i thought "fuck it, let's just live" however things went downhill when i wanted to cry and i felt ashamed, i guess that i have the tears but i also have a great ability to hold them back. Today, i felt like my friend (and also a classmate) was a little bit down so i sent one of my other classmates to check on him he said that he was fine but when i went back home i sent a text to check on him and he said that i should stop worrying about him cause he is a grown ass man, i apologized and he said that i made him feel bad when i said sorry. I held back my tears but then i saw that one of my friends was posting Instagram notes about me and replied to my text of "did u get home safe" by "none of ur business", by this, it was already too much adding the fact that i am facing worse problems i wanted to call my sister because we didn't talk or meet in two weeks due to busyness of both of us and i really miss her a lot, she seemed uninterested and tried to cancel our next meeting which is in 2 days for her birthday. I felt awful and i remembered the fact that one of my friends said "i love your personality you are a nice person but out of 11 girls in our class u'd be the 10th", now, i wanna end it all, i feel like i waited for so long in vein there's no way that i could live a normal life or be stable it's just hard, i just wanna buy a plushie for my sister then leave this world... Nobody will me miss me I'm sure except for my cat when she wants food
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