I will never pass and hate being a tranny

[underscore_nine]

I am so tired of how I look I just want to fucking cry I hate being this ugly and putrid and looking like a fucking boy. My doctor won't give me enough estrogen to transition properly and it's looking so grim I seriously want to end it all. Why can't I just transition and be pretty :( I hate my fucking jaw and i'm so tall, my best option is just to fucking kill myself and never wake up

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry. :( It sometimes feels as if God just cursed us. :(

 

[Kempel556]

I am sorry to hear that, I hope you can transition soon like you want and feel pretty :)

 

[lucyna]

i'm sorry you're suffering, sometimes it gets extremely dark and i hope you'll feel better soon. can i ask what dosage are you on how long have you been on hrt?

 

[underscore_nine]

i'm sorry you're suffering, sometimes it gets extremely dark and i hope you'll feel better soon. can i ask what dosage are you on how long have you been on hrt?

0.1mg patch and for 10 months

 

[lucyna]

0.1mg patch and for 10 months

have you gotten your blood tests done and was everything okay? 10 months is still a short time and you can definitely hit the recommended hormone levels with a 100 microgram patch, the needed dosage can be extremely individual especially with the right antiandrogens (though the endos do indeed fuck with us often, that's why the blood tests are so important). i'm sure you will get there with time, patience is hard when you're suffering but please try to be merciful towards yourself i promise everything will be okay with time. if you find that your levels are not good and your doctor doesn't care DIY is an option.

 

[noname223]

I had a crush on a trans woman recently. She did not treat me well though. I think she judged me a lot for my condition. And I think she might have made jokes about me without really knowing me behind my back.
I am quite sure she transitioned after puberty. I liked her hair, she was slim and very intelligent. I was interested in her as a person and I hoped her experiences of discrimination made her sensible towards my issues. And quite the opposite was the case. Lol.
I think there are more important things than some characteristcs of one's outer appreance but that is easy said if one does not experience daily discrimination because of it.
There will always be assholes whose opinons we cannot change. I hope you find a way to accept your body maybe another doctor can help you better.
Hugs :)

 

[avaruus]

I'm so sorry :(
I hope you get atleast accepted by people around you.

 

[theslasher]

I am so tired of how I look I just want to fucking cry I hate being this ugly and putrid and looking like a fucking boy. My doctor won't give me enough estrogen to transition properly and it's looking so grim I seriously want to end it all. Why can't I just transition and be pretty :( I hate my fucking jaw and i'm so tall, my best option is just to fucking kill myself and never wake up

1) go gym, workout legs (glutes especially)
2) incorporate more foods into your diet that contain phytoestrogens like flaxseed, soy (tofu especially), cruciferous vegetables, sesame seeds, garlic, etc.
3) repeat

Lots of small things in combination can make a huge difference with enough time.

 

[sleepyturtle69]

you should definitely talk to your doctor about a higher dose, or go to a new doctor outright. if you have no other options, ive heard of some people managing to get their doses upped by stingy doctors by skipping their hrt right before their blood tests so the levels show lower, then resuming their normal dose afterwards

 

[LeBroom]

Honestly, 10 months is still just the beginning. In my experience (from the people in my outer orbit), the "maximum Effects" of changes on HRT are generally stated way too early. After 3 years development tends to be slow, but not stopped for a loooong time. Waiting is just really really rough, I hope you can find people that support you throughout! <3