I will die tomorrow and I'm scared

[protocoltwentytwo]

This is my last evening, I'll wake up early tomorrow and go to jump. I thought I can tough it out but I'm so scared idk what to do, I'm determined that I'll do it but this is tough and idk what to do or say. I'm confident in my method, jumping feet first from 11 storeys onto gravel (old construction site) at 6AM, which I think is enough but I'm still so terrified and again idk what to do or say, feel free to ask me anything.
Sorry for posting about this so many times.
Goodbye and thank you

 

[darksouls]

I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

Thank you, you're very nice and always there for everyone, I too hope you find what you are looking for

 

[GreaterThanLessThan]

I wish you all the best and hope you're able to find some comfort

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

I wish you all the best and hope you're able to find some comfort

Thank you and likewise

 

[unluckysadness]

It's normal to be scared. I'm scared too. I almost vomited at the moment because I think I'll ctb in the next weeks. I'm sacred about reincarnation too. I dont want to go back to earth again. I'm considering jumping too but it's not high enough where I live.
I really hope we'll finally find peace

 

[Broken@25]

I support you'r decision I hope you find your peace, and just like the rest of us im sorry life killed your spirit may you find peace.

 

[traingirl]

I'm thinking of jumping too.. I know I want to die but the thought scares me as well. Jumping SEEMS easiest because it requires no supplies, no preparation but I think it's actually one of the hardest because of the fear. There's no guarantee I won't freeze up when I'm on that ledge but there's no going back because if someone catches me freezing up, I'm going to be arrested and then my life will really be over.

 

[Broken@25]

Are you 100% sure you really want to go through with this?
Because you never know, maybe in a year from now you'll meet someone irl that really gets you and life will have meaning again.
Like try something new, try a new sport, learn a new instrument, try doing a new activity, just try doing something new and exiting and try to make new connections and I assure you that things will get better.

What if you tried it all.

 

[EternalShore]

See ya protocoltwentytwo~ I wish you the best and will pray for you~ :)

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Are you 100% sure you really want to go through with this?
Because you never know, maybe in a year from now you'll meet someone irl that really gets you and life will have meaning again.
Like try something new, try a new sport, learn a new instrument, try doing a new activity, just try doing something new and exiting and try to make new connections and I assure you that things will get better.

No, I don't want any of that. I just want to
Do this and get it over with. But thanks for the kind words buddy

It's normal to be scared. I'm scared too. I almost vomited at the moment because I think I'll ctb in the next weeks. I'm sacred about reincarnation too. I dont want to go back to earth again. I'm considering jumping too but it's not high enough where I live.
I really hope we'll finally find peace

Thanks, I hope you do too

I support you'r decision I hope you find your peace, and just like the rest of us im sorry life killed your spirit may you find peace.

Thank you for the nice words, likewise

See ya protocoltwentytwo~ I wish you the best and will pray for you~ :)

Very sweet of you, I wish you the best too

 

[Alexandra_]

It's so hard to read this. I wish you all the best, my dear. I understand that life can be unbearable and we have to take such a difficult final step

 

[LIFE_IS_BUT_A_GAME]

What if you tried it all.

Have you really learnt ALL the instruments, tried ALL activities and tried AS HARD AS YOU CAN to make social connections with new people?

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Do you have plans for your last evening? You sound committed to your decision, yet a bit unsure. It's normal to be scared, but I think it's important to find peace within before. For me, and in my mind, the timing should be right, planning and prep 100% done, and I should have no doubts. What helps me to get clarity, is to write about whatever I feel. Please know that you are not alone, and we are here to listen to whatever you may want to share. I wish you all the best, and hope you find peace, whichever way your journey leads.

 

[HYPOCRlTE]

It's still better than living a life full of dread and tiredness both mentally and physically. But damn is it difficult to CTB or even try. I hope you are sure that you want to do what you want to do and I hope you can pull it off and find your peace.

But there's nothing shameful if you change your mind last minute too. All the best whatever the outcome.

Wish I can give you a big hug.

 

[Irisse]

I wish you a departure as painless as possible. Rest well.

 

[Hollowman]

Are you 100% sure you really want to go through with this?
Because you never know, maybe in a year from now you'll meet someone irl that really gets you and life will have meaning again.
Like try something new, try a new sport, learn a new instrument, try doing a new activity, just try doing something new and exiting and try to make new connections and I assure you that things will get better.

You can't assure anything.

 

[soulie]

This is my last evening, I'll wake up early tomorrow and go to jump. I thought I can tough it out but I'm so scared idk what to do, I'm determined that I'll do it but this is tough and idk what to do or say. I'm confident in my method, jumping feet first from 11 storeys onto gravel (old construction site) at 6AM, which I think is enough but I'm still so terrified and again idk what to do or say, feel free to ask me anything.
Sorry for posting about this so many times.
Goodbye and thank yo

This is my last evening, I'll wake up early tomorrow and go to jump. I thought I can tough it out but I'm so scared idk what to do, I'm determined that I'll do it but this is tough and idk what to do or say. I'm confident in my method, jumping feet first from 11 storeys onto gravel (old construction site) at 6AM, which I think is enough but I'm still so terrified and again idk what to do or say, feel free to ask me anything.
Sorry for posting about this so many times.
Goodbye and than

This is my last evening, I'll wake up early tomorrow and go to jump. I thought I can tough it out but I'm so scared idk what to do, I'm determined that I'll do it but this is tough and idk what to do or say. I'm confident in my method, jumping feet first from 11 storeys onto gravel (old construction site) at 6AM, which I think is enough but I'm still so terrified and again idk what to do or say, feel free to ask me anything.
Sorry for posting about this so many times.
Goodbye and thank you

I wish you peace I'm so scared to end it too.

 

[melonpan]

I may also CTB tomorrow evening (via jumping from an 8 story parking lot)
I hope we both can succeed + I hope this fear goes away because I am also scared to die regardless of how much I want to.

 

[Terrible_Life]

I'm so sorry that it all led to this point but i can definitely understand it.
I hope that I can ctb soon. I have a few questions to you if I may ask :)

How confident are you at the moment that this will be it that you'll be able to do the suicide attempt from 1-10?

Since when did you plan to ctb and did you visit many times the place from which you wanna jump?

Do you know this strange and total irrational feeling that no matter how painful life is and no matter how damn legitimate a suicide would be that you still whenever you think about your suicide or plan the suicide get extremely nervous, anxious, sad and somehow angry that this shit world left no other option than suicide?

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

It sounds scary. I think nerves are very understandable. I wish you peace
No shame in changing your mind.
You'll always be welcome here

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Are you 100% sure you really want to go through with this?
Because you never know, maybe in a year from now you'll meet someone irl that really gets you and life will have meaning again.
Like try something new, try a new sport, learn a new instrument, try doing a new activity, just try doing something new and exiting and try to make new connections and I assure you that things will get better.

i want to kill myself also . why do I have to do any of that even there wasn't any pain ? but there is pain a billion times worse than I can imagine or remember. why do I have to risk that pain or any pain?

 

[finalmission]

i want to kill myself also . why do I have to do any of that even there wasn't any pain ? but there is pain a billion times worse than I can imagine or remember. why do I have to risk that pain or any pain?

What method are you thinking of?
I always enjoy reading your posts and comments by the way

 

[Naetoh]

I understand your fear. I have my own. If I can say or offer anything it's that I think you're brave. I don't think normies understand just how much it takes to overcome the fear and take action against the bullshit. No matter what, you are brave.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

What method are you thinking of?
I always enjoy reading your posts and comments by the way

trying to decide between shotgun sn others.

what method are you thinking of?

good that someone else noticed what I did . seems like most humans have no clue about reality imo

 

[Sasha Swift]

I'm thinking of jumping too.. I know I want to die but the thought scares me as well. Jumping SEEMS easiest because it requires no supplies, no preparation but I think it's actually one of the hardest because of the fear. There's no guarantee I won't freeze up when I'm on that ledge but there's no going back because if someone catches me freezing up, I'm going to be arrested and then my life will really be over.

Yeah, I don't want to CTB as long as I'm not in too much pain, but if the time comes, that would be what I'd do as well. It's the only method I can imagine doing and since I'm a recreational pilot I sometimes have a chance to, but damn, I have 0 fear of heights while flying, but when I imagine jumping, it terrifies me, shivers down my spine and everything. Uggh.

 

[Broken@25]

Have you really learnt ALL the instruments, tried ALL activities and tried AS HARD AS YOU CAN to make social connections with new people?

Even if I did does it fucking matter, you cant justify living life based off what you believe. Also people are the reason I want to CTB literally everybody discarded me, hated me, and belittled me for 25 years even my parents. Why trust or give myself the false hope for "new people" and a "good life" You don't know or feel my pain, or anyone else when your beat your beat and everything in the universe has a limit. We are tired of losing and being outcast.

 

[Silver The Hedgehog]

Have you really learnt ALL the instruments, tried ALL activities and tried AS HARD AS YOU CAN to make social connections with new people?

normie spotted, i dont think this forum is for you tbh

 

[zizzou]

normie spotted, i dont think this forum is for you tbh

Someone has to try. If you couldn't speak your mind here where can you?