Venting I was dumb and talked about SN

[Untangled4781]

TLDR: SN isn't viable anymore, people took it away and are now on high alert.

So yeah. I was really overwhelmed and just flat out said it to my roommate. Who immediately took it away and they probably have disposed of it by now. I'm glad enough I didn't instantly go to "closed quarters". Now people are actually trying to "help" me again. I've heard the bullshit of "any therapist is better than none" again. They never had therapy but assume bullshit like this? Gaslighting bullshit therapists brought me into a worse shape, having me accept abuse way longer than I should have. I'm 70 percent certain I want to kill myself, regardless of any wishful improvements my surroundings believe in. I'm just done. And it hurts that my surroundings don't believe me.

 

[BeautyWSaveTheWorld]

I hate when it people think they should decide instead of me as well! Yeah, I know there is that aspect that when you're suicidal and depressed you're often not thinking clearly, but truth is if I'm a lot happier now and a lot more clear minded and still think the same about some things doesn't that tell something? god forbid me having my own opinion. be strong man, get yourself out of that but also whatever you end up deciding on, let it be your clear decision. doing something to yourself while overwhelmed would be the same kind of stupid of telling someone that shit while you were overwhelmed as well.

 

[User111885]

TLDR: SN isn't viable anymore, people took it away and are now on high alert.

So yeah. I was really overwhelmed and just flat out said it to my roommate. Who immediately took it away and they probably have disposed of it by now. I'm glad enough I didn't instantly go to "closed quarters". Now people are actually trying to "help" me again. I've heard the bullshit of "any therapist is better than none" again. They never had therapy but assume bullshit like this? Gaslighting bullshit therapists brought me into a worse shape, having me accept abuse way longer than I should have. I'm 70 percent certain I want to kill myself, regardless of any wishful improvements my surroundings believe in. I'm just done. And it hurts that my surroundings don't believe me.

It is so hard for most people to commit suicide. Survival instinct kicks in, both before and during the attempt and after during the dying process for a lot of people. It is not easy. Most suicide attempts fail.

If you are 70 percent certain you want to commit suicide, you almost certainly will not be able to do it. If you are 100 percent certain it is still hard and you may fail.

You told your roommate because on some level you want help and don't want to die. Just do whatever you can to address your issues and try to have a happy life because the likelihood of you completing suicide is extremely low. I am saying this because some suicidal people think "well if it gets worse i'll just commit suicide" but they are not able to actually go through with it and in their suicidal state they don't fulfill obligations or work on improving and so things get much worse because they treat suicide like a backup plan.

 

[jag1]

I would do anything to have had sn.