Venting I want to vent about something but I don't know what

[ElTopo]

Lately I feel nothing, I can't look forward to anything, I don't even feel sad and despaired, I'm just very neutral towards everything, it's almost like I'm not even here.
Through most of my struggles I've always wanted someone who would listen but now even if that someone was here I feel like it wouldn't help at all, it's like time is up for my recovery, now it's just a road towards the end, no help, no amount of love can save me now. I'm forever lost, and even if I were to keep on living I'd still be lost, like a husk of myself.
I spent some more time thinking about the morality of my suicide and I've always end up with the same conclusion that maybe this isn't about others but more about me, and I shouldn't live a life I don't want to live so I don't displease others. I always come to this but the doubt of the pain I'll cause always comes back, anyway this is my stance I think.
I have literally nothing to tell anymore but I wish I had. Only thing that comforts me is sleep, I've always had pretty bad insomnia but lately I've been sleeping more, and it would be better if it wasn't so damn hot in here.

 

[fedup1982]

I guess I know how you feel. I hope both of us get over this state asap

 

[tooBadTooLate]

I feel you too. I don't know how effective this would be, but I've noticed that writing into a journal seems to help—not just writing about things to vent, just anything. Just let anything out and maybe they'd come out on their own. Wishing you the best.

 

[Tulsa Sam 52]

I feel you too. I don't know how effective this would be, but I've noticed that writing into a journal seems to help—not just writing about things to vent, just anything. Just let anything out and maybe they'd come out on their own. Wishing you the best.

For four years I have kept a digital journal on an app my phone almost every day, and getting all that sh*t out of my head is all that has kept me less insane. It's not for everyone, but I fantasize someone reading it after I CTB and saying, "Oh, that's why we found him dead". They won't, and if they did they wouldn't give the least damn, but it gets it off my chest and a little bit out of my head. Whatever removes even little of the poison the world injects into your soul every day is worth the effort.