Venting I Want To Live But Think I Have No Future

[Anonymoususer1234]

I have suicidal thoughts. I tend to ignore them though because I don't really want to die that bad. My life just isn't shit enough for me to actually be motivated to kill myself (relative to how shit it used to be).

Anyways. I have a diagnosed developmental disability, and probably others that are undiagnosed. I recently transitioned into living away from home. I'm really worried for my future. I feel like I don't have one at all. My disability makes living an adult life very difficult. At the same time I'm not "disabled enough" to qualify for any real support.

I feel like this world is going to kill me. Or keep me trapped in perpetual misery. No matter how much I improve my outlook. (And I HAVE improved my outlook...or at least tried very hard to).

I feel like no matter how hard I try to succeed in life it just isn't possible and suicide is my ultimate destination.

I'm going to keep trying (because I have to) but sometimes I wonder if I'm just delaying the inevitable.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

I feel you. It's very bad but not bad enough to ctb. Why can't you get 'real support'. What does that mean. Have you tried medication?

 

[Overit90]

There are lots of state resources for people with developmental disabilities. For instance, you could get rent assistance, tuition assistance, and free vocational training. There are lots of stores that specifically hire people with developmental disabilities as well. I think it's hard navigating those systems but I see people with developmental disabilities doing all sorts of things.

There are different levels of support based on the disability, but if you are able to work and live by yourself, then there are definitely resources to help you function on your own.

Good luck!

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I really hope you'll be able to make things work! There's still time you know. Especially when you actually don't want to die. What if you'll get better and your future will look bright for you? It's a possibility even if the chances are slim. I wish you good luck!! I'm glad to hear you're been trying!!

 

[MentalFuneral]

I'm in the same boat. This world is unfathomably unfair for people with neurodevelopmental conditions