Venting I want to kill myself, but I feel distress when my friends put themselves in danger

[Chuunibyou]

just venting my hypocrisy that I view suicide as a value-neutral choice someone can make, and I want to die, and I think if I ever made that decision for myself it'd be fine, maybe even good.

but whenever my friends get seriously hurt (even if it's not a purposeful attempt) it really gets to me. I get angry at them for valuing their lives so little, and I'm afraid of them actually dying. if one of them killed themselves, I would be heartbroken.

morally I couldn't fault any of them for suicidal behavior, but emotionally I do.

this is mostly just a vent, but if anyone else can relate I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts.

 

[ma0]

Tbh I think that's just natural impulse and instinct more than anything. We're hardwired as people to care about others, even if we don't care about ourselves.

I know I've had issues before with thinking to much about others, to my own detriment sometimes, but what can ya do? It's literally hardwired :P

Point is, don't overthink it. It's baked into our minds, you couldn't stop feeling this about others if you tried.

 

[Chuunibyou]

Tbh I think that's just natural impulse and instinct more than anything. We're hardwired as people to care about others, even if we don't care about ourselves.

I know I've had issues before with thinking to much about others, to my own detriment sometimes, but what can ya do? It's literally hardwired :P

yes I agree / think this is fair. I just wish it were easier sometimes :'-|

someone I care about is in the ER today, which was what prompted this post unfortunately