Venting I want to get worse.

[GTNHisLOVE]

I feel like I have to get worse every day and tell myself how worthless I am. I feel like I have drop lower day after day, until I finally drop low enough and end it.

I'm not sad all the time. Some things in life take my mind off those things. But when I'm alone, it almost immediately comes crashing down on me. I just sit there and think about how I should eat less, mess up my sleep schedule, cut myself more, use more drugs etc..

But I'm not against that. I want to get worse. I want to feel worthless. I want to drop lower every day. It feels.. good. For what ever reason.

 

[theboy]

that's not healthy for you. you need to get out of that.

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

i feel the same way too. sometimes i am so out of place when i'm happy, i want to return to being depressed. it's hard to get out of your comfort zone. but in the end, it will be worth it. that is what i tell myself. i hope you can get out of these feelings.