I want to cut so bad

[blazemyexistence]

I feel like I'm losing my mind, I'm just waiting to die someone end me

 

[OnnanokoNiNaritai]

I am also resisting sh urges. Keep going, i belive in u

 

[maryn]

what makes you want to cut? do you want to talk about it?

 

[blazemyexistence]

what makes you want to cut? do you want to talk about it?

sure well i deserve it i loved the feeling it gave me i just want to feel numb & the control i had over myself felt relieving

I am also resisting sh urges. Keep going, i belive in u

thx I'll try
I think im going to throw out my antidepressants

 

[maryn]

sure well i deserve it i loved the feeling it gave me i just want to feel numb & the control i had over myself felt relieving

i see, i am sorry to hear that. do you do anything to distract yourself, or make you numb? besides cutting...

 

[plskilme]

I want to start again too. 19 days free from it (ended up relapsing), mental health is declining. Can't stand working with this one dickhead at my job. Been working with him every day this week. They know he treats me like I'm a retard, but they keep scheduling us together. He is currently the bane of my existence and a huge part of the reason why I want to relapse again so bad. I can't stand him. Not to mention he's also said some racist shit about customers in the past, when I've been working with him.

 

[OnnanokoNiNaritai]

sure well i deserve it i loved the feeling it gave me i just want to feel numb & the control i had over myself felt relieving

thx I'll try
I think im going to throw out my antidepressants

Why would u trow them out? What?

 

[burninghill]

Hi, I'm a few days clean from self harm but about a year clean form a real 'session' where I'd cut deeply at least 20 times and wouldn't stop till I hit beans.

I know you know this, but it's not worth starting again. I understand how in control it can make someone feel, I genuinely genuinely do. It's one of those things though where you will never be satisfied with it, you'll see people with 'worse' scars and want to achieve that and it will never be enough. Thats how you know you've fallen into addiction, it happened to me.

You CAN resist it. I promise you that. Throw out any objects you cut yourself with or at least make them hard to access because I know how difficult it can be to throw them away. Try to find something specific you can do every time you have the urge, like listen to a specific song or go on a walk or maybe even just sit in the living room so you CAN'T cut yourself.

I really do wish you the best. You CAN stay clean.

 

[blazemyexistence]

i see, i am sorry to hear that. do you do anything to distract yourself, or make you numb? besides cutting...

it's alright I play video games for the most part but I'm tired, & I smoke but it doesn't feel the same

Why would u trow them out? What?

I don't want them anymore I don't want to exist anymore I just want to disappear