LonelyKitten

LonelyKitten

Seeking one final escape
Aug 13, 2023
284
This may be a little abstract, but I've been thinking a lot about just how soothing death's embrace has come to feel.
I've reached a point where I both accept all that has happened the way it did, as well as find a striking amount of comfort from my rope for full suspension hanging.

It could just be that being back in Germany has me subject to the trans-based miseries that directly drove me to the US as a child, and their past versions' shadows.
I can feel my mind slipping back into that fog, into that fear-filled mindset, and it's frustrating, because nothing short of direct action really helps with that.

At the same time, I really miss being near someone I trust that I can hug.
It's been so long since I've had a proper hug... I got to briefly meet and hug my friend in September, though that whole meeting was a disaster... I'm sorry...
I miss hugging my friend... I don't know how much longer the chocolate can substitute for it...
Starting to wonder if the rope 'hugging' my neck may be invoking those former feelings of safe, kind embrace.


I suffocate physically and mentally while I'm here... Passing through the rope here is acceptable if nothing else, but it would be much more peaceful to escape physically, too.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Hugs
Reactions: zrh389, thewalkingdread, tiger b and 1 other person

Similar threads

theconductor25
Replies
2
Views
223
Suicide Discussion
glassbottom
G
SomewhatLoved
Replies
12
Views
472
Suicide Discussion
Pluto
Pluto
P
Replies
0
Views
155
Suicide Discussion
pokerkitty
P
F
Replies
17
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
jokster18
J