Venting I truly regret staying alive this long.

[Journeytoletgo]

I should have done it years ago. Things only got worse. More suffering,more pain, more depression

Me too. It's survival instinct for me at this point, no point in being here feeling misery.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Man. I wish I was wiser in my teens I would have done this then. This is the MOST biggest regret of all in life 18-19 or 14 I should have been done it.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I could have been CTB after high school. Useless years of suffering and emotional pain

This is exactly how I feel. I should never have been born. I'm just a waste.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

This is exactly how I feel. I should never have been born. I'm just a waste.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Life is incredibly unfair. Virtual support to you

 

[Shadowplay]

I could have been CTB after high school. Useless years of suffering and emotional pain

I feel ya. I wanted to ctb as a 6 or 7 year old. I could saved myself so much pain and suffering had I done so (not saying that is realistic of course).

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Man. I wish I was wiser in my teens I would have done this then. This is the MOST biggest regret of all in life 18-19 or 14 I should have been done it.

This is my number one regret in life. Would have saved myself a lot of pain and humiliation if I had the foresight to end my misery back then.

My biggest fear is to end up bitter, resentful and alone in old age. I hope I can muster the courage to ctb before that happens.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

This is my number one regret in life. Would have saved myself a lot of pain and humiliation if I had the foresight to end my misery back then.

My biggest fear is to end up bitter, resentful and alone in old age. I hope I can muster the courage to ctb before that happens.

I'm sorry you're in pain @eternalmelancholy I hope you find peace no matter your decision.

this too is THE ultimate regret. My greatest fear is living until old age miserable, angry, bitter, lonely and tortured to death in society.
Also the reason why I want to CTB earlier is so that people can remember me when I was joyful and upbeat. I don't want them
To remember me as a miserable grump over the last 14 years

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I hope in my final moments I find peace realizing how easy it was finally letting go. That I was silly for worrying over nothing.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Same.

 

[Ihadagoodlife]

Same should've did it as soon as i wanted to do it i knew it was the only solution and it wouldn't get better deep down but i tried to lie to myself. I think I'm going to pay it after death for being such a coward

 

[CFLoser]

It's literally impossible to regret anything. You can only "regret" because you can see the world after the actions you made.

 

[Shadowplay]

It's literally impossible to regret anything. You can only "regret" because you can see the world after the actions you made.

Ummm.... what?

 

[SentientCreature]

It's literally impossible to regret anything. You can only "regret" because you can see the world after the actions you made.

Well seeing the world after the actions I'd made is possible, so how is regret impossible?

You might only use this to argue that a successful suicide cannot be regretted. An unsuccessful or aborted attempt leaves all the room for regret and disappointment.

If only I'd gone to a hotel room that day instead of choosing the comfort of my room, I wouldn't have had to experience any of these pointless human emotions.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Why didn't I know of this option ages 14-19 would have saved me so much unbearable pain. Now I'm here at 28 rotting contemplating. I should have been done this. Just a waste of 14 years. This year is it. I'm going on my bday feb 15th

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I....honestly never should have been born. Now I know a lot of people say that out of spite for themselves, but I feel in my case, people's lives truly would have been better had my parents decided against having meat such a young age. They both would have went on to live much better lives than they did and I wouldn't have fucked up other people's lives just by being in them. Too late now though. Only thing I can do is leave on my scheduled time to prevent any further harm to people...

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I....honestly never should have been born. Now I know a lot of people say that out of spite for themselves, but I feel in my case, people's lives truly would have been better had my parents decided against having meat such a young age. They both would have went on to live much better lives than they did and I wouldn't have fucked up other people's lives just by being in them. Too late now though. Only thing I can do is leave on my scheduled time to prevent any further harm to people...

I relate to feeling as if I should have never been born. I'm sorry life has led you in this direction. It's definitely cruel and unfair and we didn't choose it. I understand wanting to prevent further harm to those around us. I feel like a burden for hanging around longer than should have been when I died socially at 14.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I also wish I knew more about brain health back then and the body in my teens I would have avoided a lot of suffering and pain, of course I would still CTB because I'm not attractive as a woman and in my opinion I see no point to continue an existence if I won't procreate but still life could have been more enjoyable if I avoided abusers. It's like I was set up to be abused for being ugly truly sucks

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's undignified to watch myself deteriorate like this. I want them to remember upbeat Renee not the husk she become living a pointless empty existence over the last 14 years

 

[MiserableInCT]

My life jumped the shark when I was 18 in my first semester of college. I'm 52 now and every year since high school has just been worse and worse and worse. I am now certain the misery is not going to stop, but I'm too chicken to CTB. During this past year my wife (separated) told me she wants a divorce, my cat died and my dog died from kidney failure. My point being: This has been far, far, far from the worst year of my life. I can't seem to make any decisions about anything at all, including finding a way to stop existing.

 

[JinZhin]

Well,
I could say this as well. The more I think about it, I go back in time, only to reach conclusion that my mother simply should have aborted me or never gotten pregnant with me in the first place...

As the Chinese proverb says, the best time to plant a three was 20 years ago , the next best time is today. Or in this case, whenever it happens.

Point being, dwelling on past is very painful and fruitless.
Yet personally, I feel the same way as you do. I wish I was long gone.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I should have done it in middle school or high school when I was still able to "feel" emotions. It was VERY painful during that period in time emotionally and I would have CTB no question if I had N

 

[AnestheticVoid]

Yes I feel the same way. My uncle killed himself then ne of my friends killed himself. I remember feeling jealous of him because he was able to do that. I saw him 3 or 4 days before he did it and he didn't seem off or different in anyway.